Erasing

Erasing

Erasing the memories
from the sketch pad that was the year
with a desire to start fresh
without the mistakes of the past
glaring in my face
and yet the paper still shows the indents
from all the previous pencil strokes
that I'll never be able to escape
instead, I'm forced to work around them
I will trudge ahead to greater things
making sure to avoid the temptation to retrace old lines

I guess this is my last piece of 2008... not because I am calling it quits but because I typically do not write two pieces a day although I have in the past. I can't say how often I'll be writing in the new year since it was one of my goals to write a tonne in 2008. Hopefully I will continue to write fairly often because I do enjoy it and I know that sometimes if I don't write out my idea, it might become lost forever. I want to try my hand at song writing a little this year. That was my goal when I started writing in the first place. All the best in 2009. Peace out.

Dinner

Dinner

Holiday dinner with friends
sitting around a round table
waiting for the last chair to be filled
but it never does
because she made other plans

Lolz. Sometimes it's so frustrating to get a big group together for dinner... inevitably someone will not be available. Peace out.

Colour Me

Colour Me

Colour me with cool shades
of blue and green
choose the blues of the ocean depths
to give me life
or colour me with warm tones
yellows, oranges and reds
create a warmth in me that radiates outwards
like a fire that can't be contained
anything
I'm tired of being gray

Hmm... been looking at some really amazing are pieces on deviantart.com. Some of those guys are sick at colouring. Just amazing. Peace out.

The Garden

The Garden

The late year snow
covers the dormant garden
Tomatoes frozen on the stalk
the winter came without warning
Half of the year, you sleep
and we become strangers
You're just another patch of snow
I feel no sorrow
because I trust in one thing
We'll be friends again in the spring

Hmm... I don't garden but I know of gardening. Lol. I started out writing about "strange pride", but the piece was going nowhere and I was tired of sitting here staring at the computer screen. I have some weird things that I'm proud of. For instance, tonight, March of the Penguins was on TV. I've never seen a single second of the movie. I have nothing against it but I'm just proud that I've never seen something that the whole world seems to be in love with. Strange Pride. There's a popular dating book in christian circles that I'm proud I've never physically touched... much less read. Strange Pride. Peace out.

Whispers

Whispers

the winter whispers
through the boughs of the spruce tree
that stands gigantically on my front yard
i strain to hear what it's saying
trying to drown out the sound of cars driving by
and the christmas music that marks the season
and the noise of life
my neck grows sore from all the straining
and still, I have no idea what it's saying

I'm just going through the motions now trying to get these poems out. Wake me up when beauty is scheduled to come along again. Peace out.

Accident

Accident

The soft light of dawn bleeds through the blinds
It's a new day according to scientists
marked by the rising sun
As for me, I've been living in yesterday
refusing to let the sun set on us
I wait for the mail
but I knew none would come
Dreaming that you would finally get around to replying
to the letter I never sent
It was an accident
that I chose to love you

I really had a hard time writing today. I was too pleased with myself with yesterday's piece. I've been wanting to create something beautiful for so long now and I feel like I finally might have done that with that piece. I remember as a child, when I would draw something that I really liked, I would leave it by my bed so that whenever I get the urge, I could wake up in the middle of the night, turn on the light and look at it for a few seconds before going to bed again.

I think as people who write things, draw things, sing things, we just want to create something beautiful. I love how everyone loves beauty even though we may have varying ideas of what beauty is. We are all able to appreciate beauty and want to be a part of something beautiful. Like the line in Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, "I wish I was beautiful". That was one of the first songs I learned to play on guitar and I loved that line. It's just such a simple desire. The desire to be beautiful, to be loved by someone you find beautiful and to be a part of something beautiful.

I had to write something today knowing that it wouldn't be beautiful. I expect beauty to come once on a blue moon for me. I just need the practice in writing. Just like a person learning to draw, it's the repetition that I need in order to find my voice or to find my style. On a totally different note, when did people start saying "on accident"? I've always said "by accident". Peace out.

Waking Up

Waking Up

Waking up from strange dreams
of which you were a resident
How long has it been since I've seen you?
or heard the melody that is our soundtrack?
the repetitive bass line and the dissidence of the midtones
My hope is running on empty
as we are separated by land and water
and you've become a unique figment of my imaginality
half real and the other half invented
like a poem - a machine of words
with purpose, driving the turbulent waters of my sleep
So that I get no rest
with each crashing wave, you wear me down
reshaping me more to your liking
The seawall crumbles under the pressure
as the bass line continues with notes that vibrate the bones
I whimper audibly half awake
and I buckle down in fetal position waiting for this storm to break

Nice. I really like this piece. It reminds me a bit more of my earlier work (with my liberty to invent words). I did have some strange dreams last night. It's funny how sometimes your whole day can be affected by the dreams you had the night before... or sometimes when you find yourself half awake and still trapped in a dream, that feeling kinda lingers with you after you wake up. And yet the actual details of the dream remain fleeting, like a melody that you can't seem to remember. The notes, just beyond your grasps. Your toes, tapping out a rhythm but the melody is missing.

Tonight, as I was preparing to write, I found myself trapped in a Youtube link clicking session where one video would lead me to the next. And with each video, a different emotion is unleashed. Jealousy - wishing that I could play guitar just as well. Pride - thinking that I could cover that song so much better. Love - as I fall for a female singer. Why is it so easy to fall for a musician? I dunno. It must have something to do with the magical relationship that music has with the soul. As every guy in a rock n roll band can tell you... music is the key to getting the girl.

Oh, I've also been listening to these podcasts of great lectures or the art of the lecture... something like that. That's where I got the "poetry is a word machine" bit. I believe that was how William Carlos Williams defined poetry. I dunno. I wasn't listening that intently as the podcast was just my background noise at the time. Anyways, sorry for being long winded today and having nothing to do with Christmas. Peace out.

Last Year's Season

Last Year's Season

I'm still living in last year's season
with my head looking over my shoulder
wondering if I'll ever come back into style
or if the good guy actually never wins
I do not object to spoilers
news of my future is definitely welcome
My hugs and kisses for you may seem rationed
Forgive me for being old fashioned

It's technically Christmas but I didn't get a chance to write earlier today so I will consider this my Dec. 24th piece and hopefully I can write again "tomorrow". I was reading Eclipse today and watched Get Smart tonight and the term "old fashioned" was in both. I know it's a relatively common saying but it's funny how when you get a term in your head and you're mulling it over, that you realize it may be used more commonly than you think. (awkward sentence much?) Or for instance, I never heard of Trotsky until a few days ago and then I've heard mention of him twice since then. Weird. Anyways... Like clothes, old fashioned guys are no longer in season I'm afraid... time to move to a farm I guess. Peace out.

Prepositions

Prepositions

I remember that sunny day
when you were in front of me
asking if I had a proposition for you
I must have misheard you because I replied with:

You're in my head again
and you're on my mind
It's like I'm caught between reality and a dream
I just want to be near you
and drive my friends crazy with stories about you

but now those days are in the past
and you're now across the world
working toward your dream
and I'm left behind and on the outside
I wish I could turn my feelings off
and you are underwhelmed by my heartache
you refuse to let your own heart break

Wanted to try something different today but I don't think it worked out... too bad. I'm too lazy to write something else. You win some and you lose some. I'll win tomorrow. Peace out.

Red Winter

Red Winter

It's the red winter
of kisses under the mistletoe
with lipstick so crimson
The bets have been made
and we're both all in

It's the red winter
a season for change
what always was will never be the same
The hearts once divided
will be made whole once again

It's the red winter
and my blood is racing
through my body with every sensation
every feeling as in slow motion
your gentle touch
and your breath on the back of my neck

I wish even a single word of that was true. Oh well. I'm gonna try to learn how to use my Wacom tablet that has been collecting dust. Peace out.

Skin

Skin

You catch a glimpse of her in the corner of your eye
as she floats by your seat
a phantom that you haven't spoken to in seven score and ten days
She doesn't notice you
what else is new
You feel uncomfortable in your own skin
as if you were never meant to be in that body
and that you were never meant to live on this planet
during this time
in the age of information
You look around expecting to see everyone looking at you
but you're surprised to find
that no one even knows you're there
To everyone else, you're the phantom

Wow, not sure what that was about. It started as one thing and evolved as I wrote it. I think I've been reading too many books lately. Now when I write, I have no idea what literary work I'm pulling from... or maybe I'm pulling from Smallville again. I dunno. Peace out.

Clean Slate

Clean Slate

The city sleeps under a blanket of snow
a clean slate
With every centimeter
more of the past gets covered up
All the paths that were taken are forgotten
and new ones must be formed
The airport sleeps and the roads are empty
as more and more snow falls
In a few days, the city will awaken
and it will be reinvented
re-envisioned by its people
like the first steps into newly fallen snow

It seems to be snowing everywhere in North America at the moment... New Orleans, Vegas, the Mid West, the Canadian prairies. There's something beautiful about a field with no tracks through it. As if it was newly made and never used. There's also something beautiful about a freshly shoveled driveway without a single flake of snow on it as it's evidence of hard work and attention to detail. There's also something beautiful about a well-timed, sincere apology that allows for a relationship to continue on a clean slate. Peace out.

Alternative Post Office

Alternative Post Office

This is the alternative post office
come have a tour
and then we'll let you explore
Letters written but never sent come here
they were never sent perhaps due to fear
They come here and are organized
as their authors sit at home agonizing
over the words that they poured all of their feeling
saying they're sorry or intimate feelings revealing
It's the holiday season and I'm sure you can see
that this place is especially busy

Unfortunately that was a weak piece but I really like the concept so again, I might do another poem with a similar concept. I was thinking today about all the letters that people write but never send... and then I started imagining that there are more letters unsent then sent. And then I started imagining that there was a post office for all those letters. The letters are never sent so they are just kept there and organized into nice little bins... bins that organize them into chronological order, or maybe by categories: apologies; you don't know who I am, but I love you; It's not you, it's me; why can't you see I'm hurting; I wish you were there for me when I was younger; and etc. I'm sure everyone has a mental drawer for all the letters that they have composed but never sent... maybe I can rhyme "sent" with "went" in my next piece with this concept. Peace out.

The Bottle, the Girl, and the Wardrobe

The Bottle, the Girl, and the Wardrobe

The bottle was never gifted
no matter how hard I wished it
My lips were primed with chapstick
although the girl I never kissed
I need a magical wardrobe
to escape to a world that suits me better

I've been reading a lot lately and a good thing about reading is you can explore other worlds, parallel universes, other times. The good thing about reading fast is that you can do it all the more quickly and it's even more immersing an experience because you don't get bogged down. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever make it as a farmer or the army. I dunno. Peace out.

Sole

Sole

A lonely stranger wanders the town
on a raining summer evening
headphones in his ears
the bass line like his heart beating
his footfalls are soft
as he drags himself across town
He remembers the situation
and how he acted like a clown
He's been walking for so long
and now his gait seems to be wrong
he takes off his sandals
and examines them closely
the sole on his left sandal is worn way down
He suspects it's due to his heavy heart
and smiles
his discovery -- a minor victory

I kinda rushed this one because I have a bus to catch in a few minutes. I came up with the concept last night while playing I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie on guitar because I was looking for new songs to cover. I thought, "wouldn't it be great to write something about a dude that has been walking for so long that the sole on his left shoe was all worn out because of his heavy heart?" And that's what I tried to write. I may recycle the concept in a later date because I don't think the treatment was all that great today. Peace out.

Another Day in December

Another Day in December

The furnace roaring
as the temperature drops
Frost on windows form

Yup, I wanted something weak for #150. I have to stay true to my blog title. Have a good one. Not enjoying The Stone Diaries btw. Peace out.

Robotic

Robotic

In this world that is so chaotic
I find comfort in you
and how your love for me is so robotic
if-then-else
put your feelings on a shelf
to get back to me when it's on the schedule

I carefully time my arrival
so I don't leave you waiting
or nervously anticipating
The events of the evening
bullet point by bullet point
a touch here
a sigh there
You're a robot and if you knew it
it would spoil it
It would spoil everything

Hmmm... I don't really know what that was about but it was partially inspired by Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. I read it today and I didn't realize that there was 20 pages at the end of the novel that were "notes". I usually like to know how long a book is in pages so that I can tell when I'm approaching the end. Well, those 20 pages really caught me off guard. I was like, "oh... so that's how it ends?". *sigh. Onto The Stone Diaries.

I haven't posted in a few days. I've been having some crazy writer's block. I've tried to write but I haven't been able to come up with anything good/beautiful/meaningful. After my last post, I was wondering how many poems I've written for this blog and I realized that I had written 148 and today is my 149th poetry entry. That added to my writer's block as I wanted to reach 150 as a mini-anniversary. Well, maybe I'll get on that tomorrow. Who knows. Peace out.

Visitor

Visitor

In my life
she was just a visitor
She came to see me
and I loved seeing her
We only had a few dates
but she was my temporary soulmate

Haha. I'm not sure where I got the idea about a "temporary soulmate". I just know that I made a mental note of it a few days ago and I wanted to write it down in poem form so I don't forget the concept. I don't really believe that there are temporary soulmates but I think it's very common for people to jump from strangers to soulmates only to find out later that they were wrong.

A friend of mine was reading The Choice by Sparks and I decided to read it too. I have a sickness that makes me need to read everything/anything that I know someone else is reading. I usually find myself trying to memorize book titles/authors of books I see people reading on the bus because I want to read the book on a later date. I think you can tell a lot about a person by what book they are reading... of course that doesn't work with me necessarily because usually I'm reading books of people that I'm trying to read. Haha. Peace out.

Her Beauty

Her Beauty

It's not in her hazel eyes
or the playfulness of her smile
Her beauty is in her hardness
stoic and unfeeling
never needing to be caressed
unwilling to shed a tear
she scoffs at your fears
and doesn't feel your pain
She walks in the rain
and doesn't complain

I'm not sure what that was about. I was just interested in writing something about being hard and how it can be beautiful. I was doing some remembering earlier this week and I was thinking about how when I was younger, I had a huge list of girls that I would marry at a drop of a hat. That lists has grown substantially shorter due to people/myself changing or the girl getting married... but I still have a nice short list -- a very short list but it exists. I wonder if the existence of the list means that I'm still hopeful. I dunno. Peace out.

The Fight

The Fight

The fight would have been so much easier
if we could have used our fists
and knocked each other out
The fight would have been more civil
if we could have used words
instead of using silence as a weapon
The fight would have been unnecessary
if we were honest from the start
I wish you all the best with Mark

Hahahaha. I'm being super lazy today but I really like this one. I'm basing it on my Monday night tv CBS comedy shows: Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I took the Mark line from BBT and the fight theme from HIMYM. I like it.

I was looking at the Ocean today and it feels kinda weird centered and italicized. It feels like I'm forced to look at it slanted. I dunno. We'll see if it grows on me. I just saw a video on YouTube showing a different chin up variation. I'm gonna go try it now. Peace out.

The Ocean

The Ocean

Cold and wet
salty foam bubbling between my toes
rushing up past my knees
as I wade into the ocean
in search of treasure
There's nothing better for the weary
at least for the weary that don't care
I'm not looking for relieve
because it's my belief
that my destiny is just another few feet out
beyond the surf

Hmm.. I think that was a bit like my Hope poem that I wrote after reading Candide by Voltaire. Fun stuff. Trying to see what things would be like if I started centering some of my pieces. I think it gives it a different feel. I'll see what I do in the future or if I want to go back and center some other pieces.

Earlier this week, if you searched "weak poems" on google, this blog would be the first hit. I was kinda giddy at that but now I've dropped to no.2. I wonder why people search "weak poems". It happens way more often then I would have thought. Peace out.

Lame

Lame

They say
that you can only wake
once from a dream
well, I'm awake
and the nightmare continues
vampires and werewolves
place bids for my love
without shame
boy was book two super lame

Hahaha, well that was my opinion of book 2 from the Twilight series. I'm glad I'm a fast reader cause otherwise I would be complaining about how much a waste of time it was... instead, I'll only complain that it was such a waste of paper. I didn't think Meyer could recreate book 1 but she did... almost plot point for plot point. I need to get me a book deal. Peace out.

Fat of the Land

Fat of the Land

Some people would say that I wasn't bright
enough to dream about a better time
of rabbits and alfalfa
cows or a goat
Some day we will buy our plot
that stretches out across the horizon
and we'll live off the fat of the land
As long as I keep my mouth shut
and my hands out of trouble
Life is easier when you got somebody
that you can look after and
that'll look after you


I read Of Mice and Men today. I remember reading it for school. I must be a much faster reader than I was back then cause I just breezed through it. I wonder what my metaphorical rabbits would be. That's probably dumb to say because most people would probably liken me to George in that story, but boy would I rather be Lennie. I'd be big and strong and I would think about rabbits all day long. A friend of mine is studying for the GRE and she has to work out analogies. I wonder...

Lennie:rabbits :: Joe:____

At the moment, I'm not sure. Peace out.

The Run

The Run

I still recall the run
all those years back in time
when I wasn't a runner
I was just a dreamer
or more correctly described as a reader
as I sat there in the living room
reading about the end of the world
You were in the kitchen with my sister
recalling your night
with him
I take flight and run out of the house
preemptively
before I could hear anymore
to save my memory
and preserve my dreams

Hmm... Ok. Well, that's done now. Lately, I've gone on many runs and I can't really differentiate between them. I remember this run very clearly. I wasn't really a runner back then. I might go out for 4 runs the entire summer and usually nothing further than a mile. I remember hearing the initial parts of the conversation, running downstairs and changing and then leaving the house in a flash. It was like 5 minutes before lunch. It was totally an unreasonable time to go for a run but I knew I wouldn't be able to unhear anything I might hear. I wish I was running these days. Maybe I'll run tomorrow. Peace out.

The Return

The Return

It was the day we've all been waiting for
with lips clamped in anticipation
and off in the distance, the brush is
rustling... signaling your return
You've been gone for many nights
and the new snow has long covered your tracks
the woods seem reborn and untouched by man
as if the world was young again and filled
with the spirits of the trees and rivers
The days of feasting under the harvest moon
and dancing with fawns

I have no idea what that was about but I thought I'd just start writing and see where it took me. I got my new video up. I wish I was 3.6% prettier. That is all. Peace out.

Betrayed

Betrayed

All these years, I've never found out
who it was that betrayed me
It can't possibly be one of my girls
I invested in them when I was in my prime
I was convinced that 2 years would have been enough time
to imprint them with my mark
to ensure that they were both pretty and smart
and not taken in by all the lies of the world
I invested equally in each of my 6 girls
All those times shared underneath the elm
was wasted... and we can't start over again

Just another poem based on The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. I just wanted to get something done before I go and watch the Amazing Race. It's been a good November I feel. I wrote a poem everyday except for last Wednesday and I've made 3 youtube videos. Not bad. Last week, I read 4 books or maybe it was 5... I don't remember. I got a chin up bar and I started doing chin ups at all times of the day. I suspect I hurt my abs doing chin ups this morning. Is that even possible? What else? Oh yeah, I also blew out all the candles. That's my teaser for an upcoming piece. Peace out.

Her Prime

Her Prime

There was a time
when she was in her prime
that we would sit under the elm
and hear stories about her lovers
but now she grows tired
and we can see it in her eyes
tired from reading that one letter
tired from crying night after night

I just finished reading The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark. It was quite an enjoyable read but I'm glad it was a short novella. I don't know how much I would have enjoyed it if it had gone on and on. Miss Jean Brodie talked about being in her prime a lot. It makes me wonder when my prime will come or if it's already passed. Growing up, I was told that it's a disaster to have your prime in high school because you will spend the rest of your life looking back to those days and wondering if they will ever return. I had an alright time in high school. I wouldn't say that I was in my prime then. I guess that is somewhat good news for me. Peace out.

The Early Winter

The Early Winter

Standing on the shore in West Egg
Thinking back to that summer day
when I was happy with my Daisy Kaye
I return 5 years later
reinvented

Our future together was bright
until that dreadful night
at the edge of summer entering fall
and the unnecessary accident
and the husband who was hell bent

On taking his revenge
as I take my first and last summer swim
he introduces me to lead
Everything grew cold
as autumn was skipped entirely
and I knew I would never be with her
as I am consumed by the early winter

Hmmm... that wasn't any good. I read The Great Gatsby today. It was alright. I liked it much more than I did The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. Maybe my preference of books is betraying my ability to appreciate "good" literature. I must say that I enjoyed Twilight much more than both these books. I like books about love and that have a plot, and maybe a hero and some crises for him/her to deal with... maybe a villian or 2 would help as well. Anyways, today I wanted to stay in my tradition of writing with the mindset of one of the fictional characters. Jim Gatz ftw. Peace out.

The Candles

The Candles

Another year,
another birthday
a cake with candles
and a choice to blow them out
or not
unlike most years
the song ends with darkness
as not a single flame survives

I'm not sure how common the game is but when we blow out the candles on our birthday cakes, the number of candles that remain lit are the number of girlfriends you'll have that year. Well, yesterday was the first time there were no candles remaining since I've heard about the game. I debated about whether or not I wanted to blow out all the candles. It was a tough decision because I do like to stick to traditions and keep streaks alive, but I guess 2 streaks ended last night... candles and poems. In retrospect, it wasn't such a tough decision though because I only have a little over 8 and a half months to redo the whole thing over again. Maybe in a future poem, I'll discuss why I chose to blow out the candles. Peace out.

Danger

Danger

Help me
I'm in danger
I've fallen in love with a stranger
I know nothing about her
but I think about her constantly
I wonder how she tastes
or what it would be like with my hands on her waist
Rescue me please
I'm in danger, I'm in love with a stranger

Read Twilight yesterday. I wish I was a vampire. Hahahaha... doing this daily is getting hard again. Not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Peace out.

> 5

> 5

How many takes does it take
to make
a video with a sore throat?
It's nearly impossible to balance
the volume of the voice
and guitar
Frustration is when you hit
the high note and get the lyric wrong
If you were healthy
this would have been an easy song
How many takes?
I don't know but it's greater than 5

Kinda frustrated at the moment. Just spent some time trying to record my video for video monday but nothing seemed to be going right. I couldn't balance the volumes at all and the ds wasn't cooperating and my voice wasn't behaving. Oh well. I'll give it another shot tomorrow. Peace out.

Midnight Snack

Midnight Snack

In bed
with teeth brushed four hours ago
I stir under the covers
starving
I wake
and grab two yogurt covered granola bars
Just the perfect midnight snack
now back to dreaming up a way
to get you back

Hahahaha, typical of me to end a perfectly innocent poem like that. I like. Recently, I've been working out more. I've found my way back onto the treadmill and have started doing some weight training for my handstand push up training and on Thursday, I got a chin up bar. I went crazy doing chin ups on that first day and now I can barely squeeze out two. I guess I need more time to recover. Anyways, with my new calorie burning activities, I've been starving at night. Last night, I finally gave in and ate something. It's been a while since I've eaten in bed. I wonder why I had those granola bars so handy. I guess past-me was looking out for present-me. Good job. Peace out.

The Woods

The Woods

It lies waiting in the woods
in the dark, it is gathering its strength
It caught us by surprise
the savageness within us
so uncontrollable
so primal in its desire
the urge to eat meat
and to hunt and kill
We are the monster
the beast is not from the water or air
It comes from within

I just finished reading Lord of the Flies. I haven't read it in quite some time. I remember vaguely what happened but now I remember a lot better. :) I wonder if people would turn savage without adult supervision... or if adult's would have fared much better without authority figures and checks and balances that keep society running. I love the tv show Lost and this book has a lot of similarities to the show. The creators of Lost have said that they are really influenced by other materials out there like Lord of the Flies and The Stand and the Wizard of Oz and such. Makes you wonder if anything out there is original anymore. And it makes you wonder why so many stories are the same. Is it because they speak truth? Peace out.

Pouring

Pouring

It is never gentle
when the rains come
The streets are awash
with the torrents of water
The autumn leaves that found
temporary homes by the curbs
washed away, into the gutters
Old things appear new
lost things are found
The old man must be snoring
it's not just raining, it's pouring

Yes, that was my piece for today. It's not really obvious but again, I wrote this piece based on this week's episode of Smallville. It's about how when one girl comes into your life, you can expect another one as well and then a big mess is made and it seems to have come out of nowhere. I feel like my life has always been dry or it's been pouring... nothing really in between. I've put my umbrella away for the year. Peace out.

Familiar Tune

Familiar Tune

The haunting notes drift in from the other room
like the scent of chocolate chip cookies but with more gloom
The familiar tune resonates inside the four chambers of your heart
shaking your very core, every wall seems to be falling apart
And you wonder where you've heard this song before
or why the melody reminds you of her
and how she fails to see
that things will never be the way they used to be

I started this piece a few times today. I wanted to write about familiar melodies or similar melodies. There was a story on the news today about a song sounding like another song and the controversy. I wonder if the same thing happens with poems. Maybe someone out there thinks I'm "stealing" from them or maybe someone out there is handing in my poems for a highschool assignment. Who knows... maybe that would explain some of the weird hits I've been getting. Peace out.

Straight

Straight

Newly fallen snow
in an open field
The destination can clearly be seen
a small gate across the open space
Head down, you face the biting winds
each step brings you into knee high snow
You're cold and want to get there quickly
Mind your feet and stay true
Another 20 yards
You've made it through
and turn around and you learn something small
you can't walk in a straight line at all

I'm rushing this piece cause I have to go soon. I only gave myself 5 minutes to write the poem and the rambling. Well, today, I went to a walk to the ATM and that involves crossing this open field. I'm very familiar with this field as I had to cross it every day in junior/senior high as I walked to school. I remember that after it just snows, the path gets covered and a new path needs to be made. Many times, I would be the first guy there to blaze the trail. Try as I did, I was never able to make a straight path. It would meander this way and that way. Oh well, times up. Peace out.

Redo

Redo

If I could
I would
do everything differently
Not because I'm drowning in regrets
but because I know there was a better option
a secret option
a smarter option
If I could
I would
I'd redo it
I'd redo it all

I enjoy playing video games and like to play them through twice. The first time through, I like to pay attention to the story and just have fun. On my second play through, I don't notice the story very much and try to work towards what gamers call a "perfect save". This means that every thing is done to the utmost. All the secrets are unlocked and attained, all the characters are maximized to their perfect form. It's the perfectionist in me that demands this second play through.

I wonder what life would be like if we were all given a chance to do a second play through. I touched on this in an earlier post when I wondered how people could live without regrets. I think if everyone was given a chance to redo their life, the world would be so different. Even when I think back to my first year in university, I can think of so many different things I would have done differently to make my life better. I dunno. Just a thought. Peace out.

The Shelf

The Shelf

I don't think about you anymore
Except when I'm lying on the floor
I lied
I don't say this in jest
I think about you in the interval between each breath
I probably shouldn't have told you this
because now we'll only be awkward
and I've reversed all the months of progress
that I've made
Lying to you
and lying to myself
It's time to start the streak over again
It's day one. I put my feelings again on the shelf

Hahahaha, I wrote the first part of this poem for a YouTube video that I just made. I thought it was too good to not finish so here's the rest of it. I'm starting to run out of good songs to cover. Especially because I want them to be fairly obscure but who knows. Do I even know any obscure songs? Is it arrogant of me to think that I listen to good music that no one else does? I guess it is. That sucks. Boo. Peace out.

Hands

Hands

I long to be comfortable on my hands
with my feet in the air
fighting gravity
desperately trying to balance
in a graceful handstand
Next time you turn my life upside down
I'll be ready

Lately, I've been trying to learn to do handstands with the ultimate goal of being able to do handstand push ups. Training is going fairly slowly. I don't really have much room in the house to train and I don't know how to fall gracefully. I need a lot of room. I'm currently doing handstands against a door... it's the only open wall space I got. I guess it's hard to have stuff cluttered around a doorway. I need a stronger core. That's for sure. Peace out.

To Be Savage

To Be Savage

I am Bernard Marx
an alpha trapped in the body of a gamma
Can't we just be alone?
I wish you were mine
I wish that you didn't belong to everyone else
Pneumatic as you are

Oh to be savage
the late John Savage
appreciator of tears
lover of Shakespeare
the necessity of tears
a yearning for God
that doesn't manifest Himself as an absence

I read Brave New World today. It's the first time I've read it since I had to read it for highschool. I wonder how people come up with new ideas. After reading the book, I think I could come up with my own version of a failed utopia but I wonder how the first person did it. How did they do it without reference material? How do people invent new phrases? How do people create things? Maybe no one has ever created anything. Maybe everything that has been created has been based on something else... a deep yearning in the heart.

When I first was reading Brave New World, I really felt like Bernard Marx. But as you meet John Savage, I feel like you are forced to feel like you're John. I wonder if everyone feels that when they read it. Does everyone see themselves as the hero in a book? Are there people out there who read books and think that they are the villian? I wonder. Peace out.

Always Never

Always Never

The new fallen snow is being moved around
by the whirling winds of change
Creating valleys and hills among the pre-existing snow drifts

At the gym, I'm doing all that I can
I push myself to my limits with every lift
It's been 6 days since the land mass shift

I thought that maybe perhaps I would try one last time
I thought my approach was oh so clever
she shot me down at once and said the answer was always never

I really like this one... not because it is true or anything of the sort but because it is the first piece that I wrote based on an idea I wrote in my poetry idea log book. Hahahaha. I hopefully will not lose any more good ideas based on my laziness or lack of perfect memory. I wrote the last two lines of this piece in my log book... had to make up the rest of it to fit. Oh well. I wanted to have a line about crunchy snow but then I started thinking and I don't really remember crunchy snow. I think that phrase was fresh in my mind because C.S. Lewis used that term in Lion, Witch, Wardrobe. I dunno. I have some experience with snow though. Yesterday was a wet, melting, dirty day. I wish it would get colder. Cold = Clean. Peace out.

Mouse

Mouse

The classic peripheral device
track ball or laser
two buttons and a scroll wheel
tethered to the computer
irreplaceable
try as they may

That was really lame but I'm trying something different. I was told that my style is similar to the Poet William Carlos Williams. I read one of his "most famous" poems a while back. It was titled Red Wheelbarrow or something like that. I don't know how to write about wheelbarrows so I decided to write about something I know. I took out a book at the library this morning of some of his selected works. I'll get back to my typical emotional stuff tomorrow. No worries. Peace out.

Shifted

Shifted

Everything has shifted
as the tectonic plates of my life find a new home
the landscape is all different
I wander around lost
as I can't find any familiar landmarks
You used to be here
beside me
Now I don't know where you are
I just pray that you are safe
and that we will be reunited in time

Hmm... I really struggled with today's piece. I wanted to write this since Sunday but I wasn't sure what I wanted to write and I wanted to let my emotions settle a bit. In the end, I'm still not sure if I like what I did. I wanted to write about a heart break and a death that happened on the weekend. I feel like I've cheapened the death by talking about something as dumb as hurt feelings but I feel like the scenarios are actually very similar. Some one important in your life is no longer around. Maybe I'm grasping at straws. Peace out.

To Remember

To Remember

The efforts to remember
are causing your back muscles to twitch
There's an uneasiness building up
in the hollow of your chest
There's a red poppy
attached to your vest
with a pin and a desire to never forget

That was my ode to Remembrance Day. This morning, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I think that book is tops on my list for times read. I think the Magician's Nephew is probably a close second. When I was reading it this morning, I started thinking about a past Christmas. It was weird. I couldn't place what Christmas/event I was trying to remember. But it felt like the memory was on the tip of my tongue but instead of being on my tongue, I could feel it in my chest and it was just trying to jump out. I dunno. It was a weird sensation. I'm still not sure what I was trying to remember. Peace out.

To Forget

To Forget

Wash away my memories
of the failed bid
Help me find new hope
with a clean slate
I dream that with each new song
that I'm getting closer
to the heart of the matter
to cut through the chatter
and only hear the lyrics
of a failed bid for a kiss
that I try to forget

I made another youtube video today. It's a joke. I can't wait til she gets engaged though because I have the perfect song for such an occasion. It's totally awesome and I would have to play the actual guitar for that one cause it's just too good to do a joke cover of. Oh no, my youtube upload just crashed. :( Hmm... it looks like YouTube went down. Now I'm getting cold feet.

Well, today as I was taking a walk, my old school perfect memory kicked in and I was reminded of some events that went down 10 years ago this day. It also involved a walk and a rose, and it was the inspiration for my screen name.

Benched

Benched

It's time
to take off my skates
yet again
I've been benched
She didn't say a thing
just a click here and
a click there
and the universe is informed
My imagination played a trick on me
I don't seek sympathy
just a chance to play
the game that I love

Yup. Different tone today that's for sure. I just got some news the other day that is not of the happy variety. Actually, this piece is based on so much stuff that went on during the past 30 hours that I don't even know what to attribute it to. On a different note, I'm totally obsessed with this song "Geek Love" by Nerina Pallot. I've listened to it over 50 times in the past few days according to my iTunes counter. I tend to do that... pick a song and play it nonstop until I don't even notice that it's playing anymore. You would think that I would know the lyrics by now, but I don't. I guess in some ways, that's how it's like with my life too. There's nothing new under the sun. I suppose I should have known how things would turn out this time, but I didn't. Maybe I refuse to learn. Peace out.

Precipitation

Precipitation

I don't know what's the right thing to do
or if a right exists to be found
I turn over the rocks and stones on the ground
searching for gold in the form of wisdom

I took a break from my search
and put shovel to driveway
to clear all the snow and cobwebs away

I lost one night's worth of sleep
and I'm sure in the end it will be more
as I wait to see the results of my choice
as my action leads to reactions
and what might precipitate to affect the world
and it makes me wonder
why are things so complicated
when it comes to a boy and a girl

Drama king for the win. I shoveled snow yesterday and today. I haven't done much upper body work this past summer as I worked on becoming a better long distance runner. It was very evident. My shoulders were burning and now my lower back is slightly sore. The snow was exceptionally heavy... most of it was ice. I salted the walkway and I was wondering how the salt will affect the lawn come spring. It's crazy how long a decision you make today can continue to affect your life in the future. I find it hard to believe people can live without regrets. I know that wasn't a skill I picked up growing up. Peace out.

The House

The House

I'm building the house for two
Every choice I've made, I've considered you
Would you like the layout?
Did I leave you enough space?
I wish I could have seen your face
when I told you about my plans
I wish you were my girl and I your man
The foundation of the house is a similar taste in candy
and the identical need for resources
The walls are years of friendship that will protect us
from all the naysayers and people who want to take what we have
like robbers in the night
together we can fight
and do our victory dance
to a song found by a friend

Hahaha, this was the poem I wanted to write yesterday but I never got the chance because I was thinking about other stuff. This poem was inspired by something I said on Wednesday night during a game of settlers about building a house for two. Everything else is fictional so don't be worried. Lolz. Peace out.

Pop Him

Pop Him

I sit here and try to take it in stride
as he sits across from me on the other side
of the table, openly flirting with you
going over the top. I wish he knew when
to stop or that I might just be able to pop
him one in the face to see if he enjoys feeling
what I feel. With every one liner, I just feel
worse. I feel like a balloon that like a needle
his words burst me and I go shooting into the
corner of the room and there I retreat and
regather myself as the pain inside me consumes
every last ounce of strength in my being
My chest is getting heavy and I'm having trouble
breathing. He doesn't even want you... not like I do.
He's just honing his skills so that when he's had his fill
and perfected his game, he'll apply it to Jill, or Jane,
or Jessica whoever he's in love with. Why do you
allow him to continue to pretend to woo you. Can't you
see that I mean what he says and that I would promise
you the remaining of my days just so you'll give me
a chance to be more than friends. We could give it a shot
for a week, year or decade. Ok, I've decided. I will go
ahead and pop him. I clench my hand to a fist and hit
him square in the face.

Fun. I wonder what it would feel like to get punched in the face. I dunno... maybe if I keep up my antics, I'll find out. Hope not though. Peace out.

The King of Awkwardness

The King of Awkwardness

If you need a guide of what not to do
look no further. I wrote the thesis
as the current reigning king of awkwardness
forget her name
and stumble on words
if she looks around for an escape
don't be discouraged
ask what's her age
and tell her she looks tired
offer her some candy
she'll be sure to be delighted
just make sure it's still in the wrapper
if she turns away
make sure to tap her
so she can continue in this mess
she probably loves to indulge in your awkwardness

Lolz... That's a good one. I'm trying to be light today. I like the word "awkward". I like how the spelling itself is awkward. I dunno. It's supposed to rain today but it's holding off. I might be walking home in the rain tomorrow though so maybe that will be inspirational. My knees hurt from running yesterday. Woe is me. Peace out.

Missing

Missing

Maybe it's the silence over
breakfast. Or maybe it's
the lack of the high harmony
as I sing along with the morning
radio. Or maybe it's because I
have no one to say goodbye to
as I leave for the day. We are
both missing. You're not here
and I'm missing you...
tonnes

Hmm... I went for a run today. I haven't ran in 9 days because I was sick and I have to say that I missed running until I started running... and then I didn't miss it so much. During the run, I was thinking "what makes people miss things?". I was watching Survivor last week and they got letters from home and they were all bawling. I dunno. I'm not sure if I would be crying like that. I understand that 21 days is a long time without contact with family/friends but I dunno if I would be crying or how many people I would actually miss. But then again, I miss having pop after a few days of not. It's just so good. Some people you miss if you haven't heard from them in a day or two... and others you don't even realize that you haven't really spoken to them in years. Hopefully, the people you miss miss you too. Here's hoping that she misses me. Lolz... I don't know what that was. Peace out.

Summer Dream

Summer Dream

Last night I had a summer dream
our bellies pressed to the kitchen floor
crayons in hand as we draw
portraits of our family, stick figures and all
in a two dimensional house and the sun peaking in the corner
of the page. Yellow beams radiating
Ice cold pink lemonade used to coax
us from our art
urged to go play outside perhaps
hit the parks

Well, that one sucked, but it was different. Still trying new things from time to time. I need a poetry mentor. Desperately. Peace out.

The Seasons

The Seasons

It's the Japanese autumn:
the season of change. The leaves
turn magnificent hues of yellow, orange,
red. The seed pods off the maple trees
float gently to the ground. They are
getting ready for the warmth of spring.
The daffodils are in full bloom. The tulips
make way for the irises and lilies. Summer
rolls in: a time for weddings, a time for dancing
under the full moon on sweaty August
evenings. We save winter for last. Both
of us out of our primes, graying, decaying
and not regretting a thing. We both smile
and remember the yellow spring.

Yeah, today, as I was sitting in church and drawing my one millionth eye, it hit me. Lately, I've been obsessed with drawing eyes. Maybe it's because I don't think I should be drawing ears or noses all the time, although believe me, they could use the attention as well. But it's because I want to be able to draw the eye and every attempt so far has felt like... I dunno, like they have fallen short or something is missing. The proportions are not right or it lacks depth and emotion. I feel like maybe it appears that I'm obsessed about writing about this one thing, but it's because I don't think I've gotten it right yet. There's something missing in my retelling of the events or my description of the emotions. It's just not complete. I feel like a potter who keeps trying to build this pot, this magical pot. And I build one and it's no good so I smash it down and start over and try again, and again... until perhaps one day, it's right and it's real. It's just in my case, I end up publishing my failed attempts. Anyways, that's what I was thinking about today. Peace out.

Walk Home

Walk Home

Turn around
she said
and walk home
alone
maybe your ego can keep
you company along
the way
There will be no next time, an
opportunity to learn from
this disaster. For it's
over. The newness
is dampened by the
rain. You walk through the
puddles, focus turned
inwards. It's over and
your socks are wet

Hmm... I'm experimenting with a different style today. Maybe the tone is the same but I wanted to try something new. I have no idea what I'm doing so I don't know if this is actually a different style but I must say that it sure felt different for me. Did I screw up something good? Was there even something to screw up in the first place? Who knows. Peace out.

Mask

Mask

I hide behind the mask
it's better this way
you don't need to know that I wait
I sit and I wait
you don't need to know that I've thought about us
even though it's so unlikely
maybe if you could see it like me...
maybe you wouldn't be so angry
if you knew that I was just scared
about what you would see
if I allowed myself to take off
the mask

That's my Halloween themed poem. I was gonna write a poem titled "mask" about MEMS but then I decided against that. I don't think people are very familiar with microelectromechanical systems and won't appreciate the mask reference. I think I've wrote more in the past few months than I wrote earlier in the year when I was all proud about my streak. Peace out.

Better

Better

You do it better
I can't deny it
I have no defense
I approach the topic with no pretense
or gesture that might make you suspicious
You do it better
Start with a kiss
put an end to this mess
and make sure that it's clear to me that it's over

I wrote most of that yesterday in my new idea book. I changed the ending though. Initially it was a poem about a first kiss but then I didn't like that so I made it darker like I tend to do. Some people are better at breaking hearts. I never read the manual. I wouldn't know where to start. It's a good thing there are people who are experienced with the process. Peace out.

Hard List

Hard List

In life
the good things sound easy
but they end up being more difficult than you wish
here's my hard list:
find a way to make money doing something you enjoy
teach your boy how to do the same
ignore the rules and don't play the game
wake up early to start your day right
don't go to bed until you have resolved the fight
find a girl to make your world
someone who will hold you tight
and say that she loves you every night

I'm not sure what that was about. I thought of two lines as I was watching the CBS evening news but I didn't bother to write them down. I'm not sure if this had anything to do with them, but I suspect it might. My memory tends to do that sometimes.

I wish I knew what I was doing with my life. I recently took a personality quiz and I once again am virtually 50% feeling, 50% logical. I think people would be surprised by that. I think people would think I was either extremely logical or feeling depending on how long they've known me. I think I've always straddled that line my whole life... and right now I feel like I'm handcuffed by that aspect of my personality. How does one decide when logic/feelings don't agree. I wish I knew how I decided in the past. Peace out.

Cautious

Cautious

She carefully chooses her words
and plays with them in her mind
She puts them onto paper
and clutches them to her heart
She is hoping he would hear her
and she is hoping that he would be kind

She thinks that she has done her part
and now she thinks it's his turn
She's hoping that he loves her
that by chance his heart also yearns
She is being cautious yet is hopeful
that not another day would pass
She would finally hear him say
"I love you" at long last

Hmm... relevant to my life or just another allusion to a television show. Tricky. At first, it was relevant but as I wrote it, it became more of an allusion to a tv show. Oh well. I've been catching up on the season of Gossip Girl. I'm not a real fan of the show but my girl Kristen Bell is involved in it and I can legally watch it online so yeah. As I wrote this piece, it evolved to being about Blair's interaction with Chuck. Oh well. Peace out.

The Frog Prince

The Frog Prince

It was better for him than it was for you
You thought he was a prince but deep down he knew
that even a kiss from your lovely lips won't alter his shape
to remain a frog was his eternal fate

Yeah, I was surfing on Deviantart today and I was reminded of this photoshop piece about the frog prince and I remembered that I wanted to write something about it. I wonder what's the origin behind that story of a frog becoming a prince. It seems like such a strange fairytale. Anyways, I'm feeling so sleep right now and it's only 4:22pm. I just wanted to get this done before I crash for the day. Peace out.

At the End of the Evening

At the End of the Evening

Another year, another party
You make small talk
as you walk around the room
You run into the bride
and you congratulate the groom
You talk to their friends from work
You wanna speak up but don't want to be a jerk
they say it's nice to meet you
how do you know the bride, what do you do
This is a total bore
You've met them before
and at the end of the evening
It was memorable
because you were once again reminded that you are forgettable

I was looking for something today and I ran across one of my old journals. The last entry inspired this poem today. I used the line "It was memorable because I was forgettable" in it. I think that's such a brilliant line. You might not but I still love it. I don't know about you, but I hate going over the same conversations with people because they don't remember you or that they don't remember that they already told you the story. Or I don't like how someone says "nice to meet you" when you've already met before. As if they can't be bothered to have a perfect memory. I would have never forgotten you. Never. Peace out.

The Flu

The Flu

I can feel the beads of sweat form on my scalp
and they race down my face
as I sit and try to eat to gain some strength
My body shakes with chills and is drenched with sweat
maybe it's just karma
because of the things I've been doing lately
I lie in bed sick with the flu
I've been cursed by a gypsy lady

I haven't been sick like this in a long long time. It's weird. Hopefully I'll get better soon as I have stuff that I need to do this week. Here's hoping. Peace out.

Wires

Wires

I guess our wires got crossed
in my moment of selfishness
as I was blinded by my arrogance
and my desire to be loved
I looked into your eyes today
the absence of a spark was apparent
as strangers walk by me as though
they didn't see me
and I was invisible

Yup, another happy one. Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible and I really felt that way today. Maybe it's in my head or maybe it's half my fault but that's how I felt. The feeling is real and I can bring up specific examples. Anyways, there are two parts to my poem. I'm not sure how I'm counting but I know I was thinking about 2 separate things as I wrote it. The other part of the poem is about looking at someone you used to like or maybe still do (but in this case, I don't) and having the rush of feelings/emotions/events come racing back to you... you say your hellos and then she goes and sits with her boyfriend. I must say that I have been lucky in that I haven't had to watch my "girls" date too many guys. But I've felt the sting a few times and am left to wonder, "why him?". Peace out.

The Arkenstone

The Arkenstone

We are drenched with the cold winter rain
as armies gather to win the Arkenstone of Thrain
Its value arises from its weight and clarity
Its thousands of facets scatter light in a million directions
The battle of the five armies is about to begin
It's lose lose even if you are the one that happens to win
No one was meant to own such beauty
It is selfish and arrogant to believe so
a mistake
Continue to follow this path and you'll join the dragon
the great and dead Smaug in the bottom of the lake

Yup. Another Hobbit poem, but now I'm done and probably won't write another one of these travesties for a while. I dunno. I think the poem is a piece about being selfish. I've been selfish lately. I shouldn't continue down this path. Only hurt feelings and broken hearts can be found at this journey's end. Peace out.

Shadows

Shadows

Everything is fun

with our bellies full with breakfast 

and the journey has just begun

But as the sun continues to race across the sky

with empty stomachs, we tighten our belts

Our shadows lengthen

as we fear the eminent dark, cold night

I'm reading The Hobbit again for like the 5th time because it's on the top 100 novels list that I'm trying to plow through.  It's a good break from Jane Eyre.  This poem is kinda inspired by the earlier sections of the book.  I've also been thinking about shadows because I've become a little obsessed with my shadow lately.  When I run outside in the early fall evening, my body casts shadows onto the fences as I run by them.  It's my running partner.  I'm so jealous of it.  It looks like it is running effortlessly as I pant and struggle.  Its hair is so much better than mine and I'm almost sure it's better looking too.  Damn you, my hot gorgeous shadow!  I wish I was awesome like you!  Am I being silly or deep?  Peace out.

Ok, I'm back.  It took 3 miles of running but I think I figured something out while I was running.  It's easy to fall in love with a shadow.  It's tall and dark, and in my shadow's case, handsome.  But it's also 2 dimensional.  It's unrepresentative of reality.  It travels fast and its shape is fleeting.  Hmm... did I add any value with this addition?  I dunno.  Peace out again.

Sans History

Sans History

Two people in a crowd

strangers at first

Hi

How are you?

What do you do?

and so it goes

the conversation flows

casual banter is pinged and ponged

favourite things are discussed and not before long

in creeps the reality

because no one our age comes sans history.

I debated about whether I wanted to actually publish this one today.  I thought long and hard (the time it took to write it... 5 minutes) about maybe just saving it as a draft and saving for a rainy day when the ideas are just not flowing.  But I really like this piece and I want all the filipino community that is accidently stumbling on my blog to be able to read it.

This piece is obviously about the process/journey of two people getting to know each other.  At first, it's exciting and fun but it comes with speed bumps or as Barney (from HIMYM) would describe it, it also comes with off ramps at specific points of the journey.  The key to a long lasting relationship is being able to survive the stage where complicated histories are revealed.  At my age, anyone who has lived even a semi-eventful life, would have baggage from the past.  Now I'm just rambling so I'll stop.  I'm lost for words now but I know that readers just read into things however they want anyways.  Peace out.