X-OR

i love her. she loves me.
i love her. she passes.
i'd rather not, but she's got it bad.
i don't want it
she doesn't think i'm an upgrade to what she already had

4 states
dates or lack there of
i should have said this
the could'ves
roll your dice to see if you love me
i'll do the same

exclusive or
the logic gate of heart break.

Today sucked. Gaps in my floors are forming in the dry winter air.  And the last two lines of today's piece was stuck in my head all day. It's a clever two lines but the piece as a whole is pretty poor tbh.

It's natural to think that the i love her, she loves me state is the ideal, but life can be more complicated than truth tables.  In some cases, I think I prefer i love her, she passes.  That way maybe I'm the only one that gets hurt.  So heroic of me.   I know.  Husbands and boyfriends, stop letting your wives or girlfriends read my blog.  Obviously everything I write is about you.  Love is dead.  Suspicion sits the throne.  Peace out.

I don't dare

I don't dare
to fill this silent air
with sounds of typing
mechanical keys clicking 
and clacking
the act of documenting
transforming thoughts to morphemes
and words and sentences
Let's tell ourselves lies
the ones we are so eager to believe
Close your eyes and enter 
imagining the feel of her hand in yours
the simpleness of one boy and one girl
finding each other
in this imaginary
make believe world

There.  I've done it.  Don't say I never do anything for you.  My insanity is captured for all to see... or at least for myself and the unexplained traffic I get from the Philippines.

Today was inspired by a few scattered thoughts.  The idea of faking it until you make it... or tell yourself you're happy until you are actually happy.  Hogwash.  Peace out.