Pretend

Pretend

We pretend that we are dating

but what people don't know is that

we're just working together

it's all just an act

We pretend that we are friends

but what you don't know is this

sometimes I wish that we were more

I thought you might too because of the kiss

But now we pretend that it never happened

because he's back.  Your old boyfriend

He's alive and we are dead

but whatever, it was all just pretend

Hmm.. sometimes reruns on tv are boring but there are some episodes that I like rewatching.  Tonight, I watched the episode of Chuck where he and Sarah kiss for the first time I believe.  If that was a spoiler for anyone, too bad.  Anyways, this piece was inspired by that.  Can't wait to see what the dude from the Buy More does in the new season and how his love life can be toyed with by the writers.  Peace out.

It Goes Without Saying

It Goes Without Saying

It goes without saying

that I'm thinking about staying

up a little later than normal tonight

I hope you think that's alright

because earlier I should have been more bold

and told you that you are beautiful

but of course that goes without saying

I dunno what that was about.  Last.fm sometimes just gets me thinking of some stuff and the usual junk comes out.  Honestly, now that I've been doing this again for more than a week, I'm starting to struggle a little.  It almost feels like a chore today.  Today, I didn't use the treadmill or do any running outside.  I'm feeling a bit worn out.  And I knew that I have to run 5 miles tomorrow so I decided to take it easy today.  Hmmm.. Last.fm is playing Keith Urban's "You'll think of me".  What a great song.  Peace out.

Familiar Loop

Familiar Loop

Things seem eerily familiar

it's as if they know their order

you smile, i smile, we talk, we walk

and then it ends

it has happened before and it will happen again

I can't help but be myself around you

you wish I was less but sometimes more

like waves crashing the caribbean shores

the familiarity is wearing

my heart strings, tearing

I'm tired and pooped

we've re-entered our familiar loop

Hmmm... I kinda like how that one turned out.  The ending was kinda forced when I was writing it but I think it reads alright.  This morning, I woke up and felt like listening to my Kate Walsh CD.  Some may think that Kate Walsh is Dr. Addison Montgomery from Grey's and now Private Practice but apparently there is another Kate Walsh out there who's a singer/songwriter.  I discovered her on iTunes.  Her claim to fame is that she recorded the CD in her friend's basement and that's why the album is called Tim's House.  But anyways, I was listening to the CD and there's a track called "Don't break my heart again" or something like that.  At least the chorus goes something like that.  I'm not actually sure if that's the title of the song.  Anyways, that song was the inspiration for today's piece... that song and some post Settlers of Catan discussion yesterday evening.  It was more hilarious than anything.  I'm just so funny sometimes.  Peace out.

An Exercise in Complaining

An Exercise in Complaining

I hate that it rains when I have to go out

why can't people be on time?

how come only girls can pout?

I don't think good poems should rhyme

Lame

Yeah, I'm currently reading through the book of Job in my bible reading program.  A few years ago, I read Job from beginning to end in one sitting.  I truly believe that is how Job was meant to be read.  The snippets at a time model is not really doing it for me.  I can complain so well typically, but I guess I wasn't feeling it today.

Shoot the Moon

Shoot the Moon

your heart is racing as you're running

running around the neighborhood

you're not running for any particular reason

you just think that it might do you a little good

the wind is gusting, just a bit

I hope you're done soon

your legs are getting tired, knees wobbly

if you quit now, how will you shoot the moon?

There's this Bryan Adams song on the Hope Floats soundtrack that means a lot to me and in the song there's this line about shooting the moon if you love someone.  However, that's not what inspired this piece.  There's a common game at carnivals where you have to get this bowling ball to go up hill by correctly pulling apart the two rods that it rests on.  I'm explaining it poorly but essentially, you have to pull sticks apart at the correct rate so that the ball builds momentum and is able to go uphill but you don't want to pull them apart too quickly because if that happens the ball will drop.  Anyways, I've heard people refer to that game as "shooting the moon".

So I ran outside for the first time today since Thursday (first day since I got the treadmill that I haven't been on it).  And there's one thing that running on a treadmill doesn't really prepare you for.  Some would argue that there's more than just one thing but today for my purposes, I'm going to pretend that there is only one thing.  Wind.  Wind sucks when you're tired and running.  I run around my block a few times and so I'm pretty much facing all the points of the compass.  The weird thing is that if it's windy, I'm usually running into the wind for 3 orientations of the 4.  Today, the wind wasn't that bad but it was so very close to breaking my spirit.  I need to revise my 6 mile route.  There are too many opportunities for me to quit and just walk home.  Another thing I'm trying to balance is my speed.  I know that the faster I run, the sooner it will be over and the slower I run, the more I prolong the pain.  I am bad at finding balance.  I always make the wrong decision when it comes to tempo and pacing.  And the wrong decision just leads to pain (if the will stays strong) or walking home feeling defeated.

A Sorta Fairytale

A Sorta Fairytale

boom pa boom boom boom pa

the steady bass line resonants from the tips of your toes to the top of your head

your hair tingles with every vibration

it only serves to distract you from your story

a sorta fairytale

this one doesn't end well

the writer was a maverick

who believed that happy endings were cliche

you blew it

you have to admit that it's a bit disarming

to find out that you're not prince charming

and that beauty there, standing over there, in that yellow dress

she's not your princess

and things don't end with a happily ever after

they just end 

with no fan fare

I don't know what that was about.  All I had at the start was a song title.  Recently, I started using Last.FM as my online radio station and it suggested this song by Tori Amos called "a sorta fairytale".   I just stole the title.  I didn't even really listen to the song so I don't know what the song is about but I just really like the word "fairytale" and decided to go with it.  Lol, I absolutely have no idea what the first part of the poem is about.  I don't even think it's necessary but who am I to edit?  Anyways, the word "fairytale" is something that I adapted into my terminology a few years back.  I had forgotten when I picked it up until recently when I re-remembered.  But that's another story.

I love fairytales.  I'm sure I've mentioned that before somewhere in the previous pages of writing.  Or perhaps you can guess that I love fairytales by looking at my favourite books.  Sometimes I think that the modern fairytale is the typical chick flick.  I watched two over the weekend:  "Definitely, maybe" and "I'm Reed Fish".  The endings in these stories are hardly ever realistic.  How can you blow things or miss your chance with this awesome girl and then years later get a chance with her again?  It's just not real life.  In real life, that girl is married already.  Not every one can play the lead in the movie.  Sometimes you're just the dorky friend.  Fish out.

Glance

Glance

She asked me how I did it

how I always seemed to know

It's as though I had a sixth sense of when she entered the room

She asked if perhaps it was the cadence of her walk

the scent of her perfume by chance

I told her that it was the weight of her glance

Hmmm... that didn't come out exactly how I planned but I got a little stuck so I just ended it.  As I was lying in bed last night listening to a podcast, I was struck by the phrase "weight of a glance" or something like that so I made a mental note that I wanted to write something with that line in it.  I've always felt like I could sense certain people's presence.  Now I'm not saying that I can actually feel their glance but I just think it's a marvelous concept.  I know that sometimes a stare from a certain someone can be so heavy that it just wants to knock you to the ground or force you to sit down because your knees feel weak.  Lame, I know but that's kinda the concept I was trying to go for but unfortunately, I just didn't quite get there.  Oh well, the good thing about writing more is that I get many chances.

I did 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill.  I technically didn't break any rules because I did not run today.  I'm actually not supposed to run on it until Thursday according to my schedule but I'm finding it hard to stay off of it.

Johanna

Johanna

Johanna
the girl with the yellow hair
she sits by her second story window
longing to breathe in the fresh air
longing for her sailor
the boy from the sea
to maybe rescue her and take her to be
free
safe
happy
loved

Hmmm... I guess now that I'm trying to do this more often, it's inevitable that I'll be writing some real garbage pieces now and again. Unfortunately I didn't think that I would be writing crap on my second day back. Today, I watched Sweeny Todd: The demon barber of fleet street... or something like that. The only real catchy tune was the one about "Johanna". I dunno. I don't understand how they can get away with having only one good song in a musical. The story was dumb too. It was like a modern twist on a Shakespearian tragedy except even lamer. Oh well, good thing I only spent a dollar to watch it.

I was rereading some of the old poems and I realized that there are so many garbage pieces. I do, though, have some favourites. I like "the eternal week" and "night train" for their sad yet beautiful tones. I like "dirt" and "april showers" for their emo-ness. I like "rachel" because I actually got her name wrong. I like my series of "greatest hits" and hopefully I can write some more in that series... for sure I need to include my new love affair with the treadmill. I want to run on it all the time but my current running program only has me running 3 times a week and I would like to run at least one of those times outside. Here's to not hurting myself and being wise with taking care of my body. Peace out.

Treadmills

Treadmills

Treadmills are for people who like pain
they allow you to run without having to run in the rain
Treadmills allow you to train as if you're going uphill
they allow you to stop when you want when you've had your fill
... and you don't have to walk home
cause you're already there

Yup, so my sister and I got a treadmill today. The model claims that it takes 2 people less than 1 hour to assemble it. Liars. And who knew that treadmills would be so heavy? Guess what, they are heavy. I'm not sure what I want to do now that I have a treadmill. I've been running outside just fine all summer but I guess it will come in handy when winter rolls around. At least now I can run in the winter and I won't have to start from scratch every spring like I've been doing for the past years. Tomorrow is my first "intervals" run. I started a new running program to help improve my 10k times. Apparently if I just go out and run aimlessly, my times won't improve. Oh well, I guess we'll see.

Anyways, I haven't written in such a long time but I want to get back into the act again. I don't want to commit to starting a new streak but I do want to write more. I've had some good ideas lately and hopefully I will attempt to write some pieces later on this week.

I Hate May 13

I Hate May 13

I hate May 13
Don't ask me why, I just do
My glass's raised to you


Yup. I hate May 13th. Not too many people know why and I don't care to talk about it. I just hate this date. I used to have a calendar on my wall frozen on May of that year that's been up for years. I only took it down in the recent renovations of my room (for painting reasons). It would be dumb for me to put that calendar back up since it's years and years out of date. Oh well, perhaps it's time for me to move on. Peace out.