Wax and Wane

Wax and Wane

Oh to fall in love on a train

or whilst walking in the rain under the same umbrella

What will become of me

will I be happy?

We ask questions

and gaze into the night sky

thinking stars in their waxing and waning

have some magical wisdom

We moan and groan

under our own expectations

They weigh on us and wear out our knees

carrying self-made burdens through life

searching for celebrity friends and a future wife

I think when people are forced to create something, they all reach for their "goto" topics. Patterns can be easily discerned when reading books, listening to songs or watching movies. Creators tend to have themes that they like or images that appear in everything they do. Apparently I really want to meet a girl on a train.

The other day I watched Daybreakers. Ethan Hawke was in it and it just reminded me of the Before Sunrise and Before Sunset movies. Man do I love those movies. Maybe I need to go to Europe and ride the trains for a while. I need to start thinking about what books to read while on the train to make me a mysterious man that beautiful women approach and make small talk. Haha.

On a total aside, I'm listening to the Wonderful Wizard of Oz at the moment. Yesterday, I discovered Librivox.org. It's a site for free audiobooks recorded by volunteers. Haha. I'll never have to read again!!! That is if I only want to "read" books that are already in the public domain. Oh well. Peace out.

Race the Sun

Race the Sun

Let us save this night and thwart the day

running west with all we got

keeping the sun just below the horizon

running in the hours of yesterday

We trip and slow and start to chase shadows

that are ever shortening

as we lose strength in our legs and our race with the sun

It's won

Lost ends tomorrow. I know that it's just a show but it has become really important to me in the 6 years of its run. Today's piece is about trying to hold on... the internal refusal to change and bring on a new day. What if the sun doesn't look the same as it did yesterday? What if it's not as warm as we remembered it being? What if Kate doesn't end up with Jack? These are the questions that we feared will be answered... and so we run. Peace out.

Candles Deep in the Woods

Candles Deep in the Woods

The image grows foggy around the edges

as my heart slows and the lights on the ceiling glow

like flickering candles deep in the woods

There's only time for a few more words of comfort

as you hold my hand

I've never liked you very much

I close my eyes

and count the ducks

The general consensus is my ending sucks

Today's piece was inspired by the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I wrote it from the perspective of the goon doctor from Mercy West that died... spoiler alert btw. I decided that I wanted to write something about it when Mandy Moore's character told him that the girl that he had a crush on for years knew b/c "girls always know". It was meant to be something comforting but it really is just a last slap in the face before he dies. She basically said "she knew that you liked her but ignored it because she wasn't into you in that way." Ha. Some comfort.

Everybody knows though. Peace out.

The End

The End

I held my breath

waiting for the sun to set

Let this day be over

I crawled into bed

hoping to not dream of smoke monsters

and creepy visitors

I heard it over the horizon

Indeed.

The end approaches

I'm so sad. :( There is officially/technically only 1 episode left of Lost... even though it's a 2 and a half hour episode, it is still the final episode. It's weird when things end. I don't really remember the ending of many shows. I remember watching the Friends' finale and the Seinfeld finale. I didn't get to watch the Dawson's Creek finale until months later because I was on a tv fast at the time. I know a lot of shows get cancelled. I can't remember their endings very well, but that's probably because I think there will be more coming but they get cancelled in the summer when no one cares about them anymore.

I'm once again trying to learn how to sing harmonies. Haha. I've spent a lot of time trying to write some programs in java to help me practice. As I attempted to write the code, I realized that I don't really understand the music theory involved. I'm doomed. A lot of people say that I should just practice and learn to do it by ear, but I want to understand it too... and my ears are no good. I'm in need of an upgrade. Peace out.

Nothing Happened

Nothing Happened

Nothing happened

Nothing ever happens

Running in circles

and playing our roles

an empty smile behind hellos

and another week passes

each one bringing us closer to the last

I'm so glad that the season for new tv shows is coming to an end. It's so time consuming to follow all of these shows. It's so frustrating to watch most of them because nothing ever happens, the storylines are convoluted and unbelievable... not unbelievable in a good way but unbelievable as in it insults the intelligence of the audience. Only a couple more weeks until season finales come and go. Yippee. Peace out.

Undisclosed Desires

Undisclosed Desires

Undisclosed desires scattered on the floor

among the drab meaningless things collected along the way

Soon even I find it hard to tell them apart

Short. I know. I wonder how many people don't know what they want. I know that I don't know what I want. Or maybe I used to know what I wanted but now I don't because I've convinced myself that I don't want it since I won't be getting it. Sour grapes... the idea of settling.

Today I was listening to the 404 and they were talking about how people are just content consumers and aren't content creators anymore. This is my attempt at some content creation - A faux poem and a veiled attempt to sound deep and introspective.

Maybe the grand question of "what is the meaning of life?" is just a rephrasing of "what do I want?" It's the cliche used in movies and tv shows and books all the time. "I thought that getting this or that would make me happy, but when I got it, I wasn't." Peace out.

I Heard a Song Once...

I Heard a Song Once...

I heard a song once

It was red I think

or pink or orange

some colour pulled from the sunrise

The light glittering off your blue eyes

or were they green?

I don't think I can remember anymore

not for lack of effort

or busyness of chores that I find myself doing

Moving things around my room

trying to rebalance my life without you in it

The scale tips one way today

and another the next

my best efforts ever fall short

And then the song comes on the radio

the song that haunted the background

now it fills my ears and flood my eyes

Wow, this is kinda sad. The season for new television episodes are quickly coming to an end. They all seem to have to build up something sad before the finale so that the finale can be that much brighter. This piece was inspired by the sad episodes, the despair, the death of characters that were there from the beginning. When Lost ends, I want to "eternal sunshine" my mind and watch it all over again. Peace out.

The Angel

The Angel

It's strange

sitting here

drinking beers

and sharing our feelings

something that guys rarely do

And yet we're connected

by one degree of separation

the same dream

and wild imagination

that we can one day be

with you

the glass angel across the sea

I dunno. You would think that if I took the time to write something after not writing anything in a couple of days, that I would come up with something brilliant. No such luck I'm afraid. I watched last night's episode of HIMYM today. It reminded me of an awkward situation someone told me about a while ago. Two boys talking about how they both liked the same girl. I can't even imagine participating in such a conversation. It seems like girls do it all the time though. They can gather in large groups and all scream for Beiber or Justin Timberlake. I'm possessive I guess. I don't like telling secrets or having someone else like the girl I like. Doesn't that make us automatic enemies? I dunno. Peace out.

Start Forgetting

Start Forgetting

I miss you already

and you're not even gone

The feeling is wrong

I can't shake it

I keep jumping to get a clearer view over the horizon

The future looming

Doom hanging over our heads

The time has come

the day that I've been dreading

You are indeed beautiful

but I must now start forgetting

Wow, I feel like I haven't written in so long but it hasn't been all that long. It seems like I'm in my usual mid-year writing drought. It seems like I write a lot at the beginning of the year and the end of the year and not so much during spring and summer. If I hadn't looked at when I wrote my entries, I would have thought the opposite would be true. I thought that I wrote a lot of my pieces during the spring/summer cause I like to think about things when I run outside. I guess that thinking doesn't translate into many pieces though. Oh well. It's pretty normal for our own perspective to not gel with reality.

Today's piece is about watershed moments. Events that are markers for looking at someone's life. Things either happened before the event or after. Things won't be the same again and instead of holding on to the past, one must move on and start forgetting. I love remembering. I pride myself in having a good memory, but I also appreciate the value of forgetting. It's such a valuable skill. It's the hockey playoffs right now and players love to throw out cliches when they are being interviewed. One cliche concerns the importance of forgetting a bad loss and moving on to the next game.

I wish I was better at forgetting. A few years ago, I read a book called The Amnesia Clinic. I think I might have mentioned it at the time. I read it because I liked the title even though the book was totally not what I thought it would be. I'm obsessed with the idea of remembering and forgetting. I don't know what it is. I guess it's just me. Peace out.