New Music

New Music

My heart feels light
as my feet pound the pavement
Headphones in my ears
the music feels new again

Yesterday, I listened to music for the first time in like 2 weeks. Of course I've heard music within the past 14 days, but I haven't listened to music for 2 weeks. It was weird. I was walking down Kensington listening to music. That walk felt so different. It was like I haven't walked that route before. I felt a little renewed and was smiling a little.

I like to play this little game while I train/bus home after work. I like to stand on the train and try to put on a blank stare with a mix of sadness. I try to go heavy on the blank and just add a little hint of sad. I think it's fun. I sometimes break character and smile a little because I think what I'm doing is so entirely stupid. Peace out.

Broken in Shoes

Broken in Shoes

Yesterday you arrived late
and I made excuses for you
I didn't mind that I had to wait
it was a long anticipated date
There were many things to speak to
but you just wanted to chat
You've run me through and through
It's all old hat
like broken in shoes

It's surprising how many times that I forget that there are no surprises. How many times do we expect things to change; be different some how but they never are. Things just happen in cycles as if they are on a schedule. Things that happened yesterday, happened today and will happen again tomorrow. People rarely change, and it would be easier if we didn't expect that they do. Peace out.

Choir

Choir

We play dumb
and walk in circles
avoiding the pressures of the world
We revert to just a boy
and just a girl

We try to sing
but we've forgotten the words
The lyrics becoming overly familiar
We lip sync
and get lost in the choir

I was pretty frustrated when I wrote this today. I had a great idea for something yesterday on the bus, but I've forgotten it. It's so annoying. The idea was good too. I was so excited when I came up with it. Too bad I didn't have anything to write with.

I'm not good at taking the bus or train. Whenever there are a lot of people trying to get on, I always find myself at the end of the line. It doesn't matter where I am before the bus/train get there, I always find myself at the back. I don't really mind though. It's been a long time since I've ran to catch a bus. I am fine with just waiting for the next one. When the train comes and it's full, I just let it go. I have all the time in the world... or so I tell myself.

I've also been rather annoyed about the bus departing etiquette. I feel that people on the back of the bus should get off last. When I'm sitting in the middle of the bus, the people on the back insist on getting off first. When I'm sitting in the back of the bus, I end up getting off the bus last. There's no consistency. It's lose/lose for me. What else is new. Peace out.

Her

Her

We never fail to try to forget
as though life would be that much sweeter
If we could live without regret
and be in the black without any debt
We crowd around the humming space heater
ignoring the scent of the poor
Six people standing in one square meter
far away from the door
but I can still see her

I've had several good ideas for poems on the bus/train lately but this is not one of them. I keep forgetting what I mean to write about. It's too bad because I feel as though there were some gems that are now gone. Maybe hypnosis could bring them back, but good ideas are fleeting. At least, creative ideas are fleeting. I guess that's why people encounter writer's block. Somethings you can't force, but I force them and write even when I got nothing. I got nothing. Peace out.

Fold

Fold

Today we all have to make some decisions
about what we think the future may hold
We pick our brains and seek for visions
avoiding fate and reality's collisions
We'd rather wait outside in the cold
unable to get our seats off this fence
Deciding we'll sit here until we are old
lacking all forms of common sense
pot committed, we decided to fold

Got my contract at work today. I thought I'd sign it immediately but now I'm mulling it over. I'll most likely sign it but I'm waiting a little because of the implications I think signing this contract would be saying about what I think is in my near/immediate future. I'm not someone that is good at making life decisions. I feel as though I can't make a good decision because I can't see far enough ahead. Sometimes I wonder if decisions would be easier with more foresight - like the elves. But the future is dark even to me. Peace out.

Train Dreams

Train Dreams

The trains race down the tracks
and ferry people around town
We sit around and eat our snacks
that we carry in our back packs
We day dream about wearing crowns
wishing that we could be king
We'd be happy, and never frown
laugh, play, sing
taking life lying down

I had some weird dreams last night about a girl that doesn't give me the time of day. I don't want to be too specific because then people would be able to guess. That's why I described her in such a vague manner.

I like watching people on the train. It's fun to people watch. I think I have a 6th sense for hot girls. I can notice them before anyone else. I usually like to spot them and then observe other guys spotting them and rubber necking. It makes me feel so superior. I've probably talked about this before but that's because I really do enjoy doing it. People like to stare at cute girls. I like to watch people stare at cute girls. I suck. Peace out.

We Failed

We Failed

Sometimes we struggle through the day
other times we just coast
We dance lightly when we know the way
Ignoring what the haters say
Acting as though we know the most
We try and we try but fail
falling ever short of our post
wishing that we could sail
ignoring what was diagnosed

Trying fire and ice again today. I'm stuck at work. It's a bit of a struggle constantly doing different things. As soon as I think I've gotten the hang of something, I'm finished the task and start something new. I wish I could work on something for like a whole week and struggle with it, pick it up and then just coast for a bit. Right now I seem to be working on things with 2 or 3 hour turn around times. If it takes me longer than that, I feel like I'm dogging it and need to bring work home with me if I can't get it done before leaving for the day. It's a huge adjustment from school. When I was in school, I could always do work because it was my work, I wasn't being paid per hour. But now, it doesn't really benefit me to bring home work and do it off the clock. Peace out.

Laundry

Laundry

We sort our clothes in preparation
to get them washed and clean
In hopes to make a declaration
The world should show appreciation
We acknowledge we love to be seen
Walking about on tippy toes
Making faces and acting mean
Everybody looking at us knows
We want to be the center of the scene

Did laundry today. I'm glad I didn't bring too many lights to Calgary. I threw in a light tshirt with my darks because I didn't want to do separate loads and now I have a new shirt to sleep in. Oh well. I needed a new tshirt to sleep in anyways. I didn't bring enough. I suck. :(

Today, I was thinking about clothes and why we need to iron dress shirts. Of course, we can buy shirts that don't need ironing, but why do we iron them? Because we know that people will judge us if we didn't. It's one of those things where if everyone in the world decided to stop ironing, we could actually all stop ironing and save the world so much time. It's not like an ironed shirt keeps us warmer than a wrinkly shirt. The world would survive the loss of pristinely pressed shirts... but we'd just end up finding some other pointless aspect of a person's appearance to make rash judgments. Peace out.