Blur

Blur

I close my eyes

and go back to the start

to the day where it all began

and I surf my memories back to the present

Everything is all a blur

I see all the things that didn't occur

and all the mistakes I was able to avoid

I think about it -- annoyed

because I can't see what I could have changed

what I could have done differently

I just wasn't part of your destiny

Yup. I didn't know what I was writing today. Actually, I just wanted to write something because I was looking over this blog and realized how much I've written this year even though it doesn't feel like I've written all that much. I just want to keep it up so I can have a tonne of stuff written in 2009 and then have something to try to beat next year. I'm lame. I know. Peace out.

Both

Both

Two months ago, I had both
I ate my cake and still had it
But now I'm forced to choose
between kisses and bruises
between hurting you
and letting everyone else down
with a frown, I choose neither
stubborn as I am
I want both
and until I get it, I refuse to move
Everyone can try to wait me out
but I've got something
something to prove

Lame. Not what I wanted to write about as I started but I don't think I could have wrote what I wanted without using names... the pronouns were confusing me and I actually knew what I was writing about. Peace out.

Perfect Memory

Perfect Memory

Her memory is just good enough
that she gets the same familiar feeling
after she makes the same mistakes
She loves
and loses
and nurses her bruises
Brave enough to try again
after leaving time for her heart to mend
a year
a month
a day or two
the time it takes to forget
"Hi, my name is _____.
I don't believe we've ever met."

Yup. I didn't write what I wanted to write about today. Maybe I'll find the inspiration to do it tomorrow. I dunno. This is what I wrote instead. It's not half bad but not great either. Maybe if I was brave enough to include a real name but I'm not. **cowardly raises hand. Yup. Peace out.

91 and Some

91 and Some

The sun has set

on our 91 and some days of summer

Am I too late?

I watch you from the window

of this institution

I've been committed

for seeing you everywhere

Hallucinations

figments of my imagination

Why did you choose me all those years ago?

Why can't I unchoose you?

I'm sorry

Let me move on

Don't read too much into today's piece... inspired from the season premiere of House and the latest episode of Defying Gravity. I really hope the pick up Defying Gravity but it's not looking good for the show... probably only gonna have the one season. Boo-urns. Peace out.

Definitions

Definitions

Definitions

of direction

Are we growing together

or creating separation?

Hash it out

with awkward sentences

and examine our dynamics

with the cold eyes of a scientist

Detach yourself from your feelings

and classify what we are to each other

Determine if we're going somewhere

else I'll try to find "it" with another

Yup. Watched HIMYM today. A whole episode about the DTR talk - the Define the Relationship talk. I must have ranted about this in the past but since it was dealt with on tv recently, I'm gonna rant on it again. Why do relationships need to be defined? I think relationships should be messy. Why can't things just be what they be? It's so stupid. I was very close to writing a book about it a few years ago because I was so passionate about the subject. I have the title ready to go... the title alone will sell books. Anyways, I don't want to say anymore cause it's late and I don't want to get myself riled up so I can still sleep tonight. hahaha. Peace out.

Snow Globe

Snow Globe

Summer marches steadily to its end

the twilight period comes earlier with each passing day

The gladioluses have bloomed from bottom to top

and the vines that cling to the fences are bright red

Autumn is knocking at the door

the end of the baseball season is ushering in hockey and basketball

The winds are blowing and pulling leaves off the trees

and the night sky is echoing with the migrating birds

I met you last fall

and things are not that different now

It's as though I've been trapped in a snow globe

just waiting for time to pass

Shake the bauble and count the snow flakes

lift it close to your face

turn my life upside down with an earthquake

Examine me closely, I'm behind the glass

break me out of this prison before winter comes to pass

Yup. You got it. I don't really know what that was about. I just wanted to write something about gladioluses because they are my flowers of the fall. They take forever to bloom. Storing up their energies all summer and preparing their blossoms to be shown off when all the other bulb perennials are done with their blooming. I dunno. That's it for today. Peace out.

Angry Clocks

Angry Clocks

I have angered my clock

as I've stolen its job

I count the seconds now

and keep track of time

Each grain of sand

that falls through the hourglass

is large like beach balls

before my eyes

My fingers flying on the abacus

adding them up

How long has it been?

I can tell you

I've counted the days

Angry clocks cross their arms in frustration

I no longer give them any attention

Weak. I know. It was a concept that I was thinking about writing yesterday but I kept putting it off and all the good lines I had in my head are now lost in time. They will always be better than what I came up with today because they are forgotten and nothing compared to them can ever be proven to be better. I ramble now. I'm tired. Peace out.

Goodbye Seaside

Goodbye Seaside

I rise with the sun

and feel that it's a new day

I feel whole once again

but wait...

a cough

and then another

I surrender

to another day of coughing

and low grade fevers

I dreamt that we were at the beach

with our feet

in the sand

and your head in my hand

goodbye

seaside

I woke feeling better

but my body lied

Well, it may not appear so but I did sleep between the two posts that I wrote "today". Although I can't claim that I slept very well at all. Actually, I feel like I should take a nap right now. My head hurts and my eyes are super heavy. Oh well... btw, I didn't actually dream that last night. (just a note to myself, in case I read this down the road and try to remember who the dream was about...) There was no dream. Peace out.

Cough

Cough

I can't sing our song today

a cough has taken my voice hostage

It limits me to half a note

before my throat decides to stop me

and my stomach hurts

my abs are sore

I can't take this for much anymore

and I hope to myself

(but I don't keep it secret)

that you could find the patience

and remember the song and not just forget it

Please hum the song to yourself

a melody that resonates in your mind

magnitudes decaying ever so slowly with time

I have a cough. I know that doctors like to define them as either a wet or dry cough. I like to think of coughs as coughs that I can still sing with or coughs that do not allow me to sing. Those are the annoying coughs 'cause I'll try to sing a song and go into a coughing fit. I don't know what kinda cough I have at the moment. I haven't played guitar lately cause I feel as though I will start coughing so I don't even bother... and I cough at night. So obviously I'm coughing right now. Oh well. Hope it goes away soon. Peace out.

News Travels

News Travels

News travels

through wires and tubes of glass

the fibre that they push to your curb

Headlines streaming

screaming

announcing things as though you haven't heard

... the news

People ask you if you've heard

... the news

As if you couldn't deduce it for yourself

a comment here

and a change in status

the pieces that steer your imagination

The universe congratulates her

and forgets about the rest of her suitors

who always seem to be the first to hear

... the news

I've first talked about this concept on October 22, 2008. I thought I had actually written a piece about it but as I reading some old posts today, I realized that I didn't actually write about it, I just blabbed about it. It's my theory about how information travels... it takes the path of least resistance to the people that the information will hurt the most. That's why secrets are such dangerous things to keep. They don't want to be kept. They can't be kept. The information will make its way to the people it will hurt the most. Peace out.

Melancholy

Melancholy

Last night I dreamt

that I had to do all I could

to not fall in love with you

You smiled your cute smile

and turned around

revealing the nape of your neck

underneath your short hair

I fought all the urges inside me

to chase after you

I must not fall for you

please don't make me

If I fail in my dream

I'll wake with melancholy

Today's piece is about dreaming. I've mentioned it before I think, but sometimes when you have a dream, it kinda sticks with you through out the day. In my dream, I was falling for a girl that I actually know irl. And I think, there was a part of me that was trying not to fall in love with her cause I knew that it was just a dream and I would have to live with the consequences of the dream in my waking hours. I dunno. I don't think I'm explaining myself that well but I knew that it would be better to not fall in love with her in my dream, cause I knew that some of those feelings would be residual when I woke up. Hmm... I don't think that I was that successful in my dream. My legs were tired, and I tripped and fell. Peace out.

*blank* me

*blank* me

save me

from myself

I've put you

on too high a shelf

leave me

to remain ingornant

as the whispers

speak of your engagement

kill me

if you ask me for my address

I'd rather die

than see you in that white dress

Hmmm... I like that one. Fun to write and fun to read. Don't mind me, my heart bleeds.... haha, I can't stop. I'm stuck in this juvenile rhyming scheme I think. I need to shake it. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Man, this is annoying... I just want to shout. Peace out.

Favourite Lies

Favourite Lies

Flowers were her favourite lies

that I would send her

Tulips in the spring

and roses in the winter

Apologies in blossum form

like promises that whither

I cross my fingers in my heart

and lean forward to gently kiss her

Yup. I know. Today's piece feels incomplete to me too. It as though it's only a half thought. Oh well. Since I've only written like 3 times in the past month, I just want to get some stuff out there again. I wish I had someone to buy flowers for. Haha. Peace out.

Not Your Story

Not Your Story

This is not your story

it's only the beginning - the start

Filled with both hard and easy parts

times of joy and broken hearts

Don't be discouraged

and get yourself down

there's tonnes of time for things to turn around

Don't get too wrapped up in your little world

go out, drive, and meet a new girl

start a new story - one different from the past

And prove to everyone that nice guys don't finish last

Lame lame lame. Just a little pep talk to myself. Don't mind me. Peace out.