Faux-livia

Faux-livia

I don't know you
it seems
as though my memory
is nothing more than dreams
and short stories that I concocted 
to fill in the blanks
the lengths I've gone to 
to maintain your illusion...
the lies I believe
have bled in with the truth
the walls are crumbling
I'm starting to see
I don't know you
and you don't know me

Today's piece is inspired by tonight's episode of Fringe.  I gotta say that I'm a bit torn about how this season is progressing.  I like multiple universes but two is too many.  On a totally different note, I've been playing a lot of guitar lately.  There are so many songs I want to cover and so little talent to do so.  Ha.  You thought I was gonna say time.  Oh well.  Wrong again.  Peace out.

Older Heart

Older Heart

Inevitably the seasons change
but not like clock work
sometimes early and sometimes later
but they change and so must you
at least that's what they say is the case
in these modern times
where nothing stays static
and everything is in a state of constant flux
you busk and you bust
until your calloused fingers find new pain
and the rain comes again
as if the sky is showing
that it will once again clean your slate
and put you back at the start
with tired hands and an older heart

Yeah, some more of my usual ramblings.  I need to get a job.  Peace out.

The Game

The Game

You wanted the brunette
so I called the blonde
She and I exchanged glances
like a game of catch
back and forth
I smile my smile
and she tilted her head
feigning vulnerability with her neck exposed
The game ingrained in our minds
this was not either of our first times

Tonight's HIMYM episode was totally filler... and so is the post.  Peace out.

The Model

The Model

I thank you
for I have modeled every girl after you
The way your smile seems so natural
and your laughter light
as if it's dancing on tip toes

I made every hero an image
of who I long to be for you
Strong and silent
With words that change the tides of battle
and a hand that feels complete in yours

Yesterday, I finally got my hands on A Wrinkle in Time. I have wanted to read it for a while now because it was a book in the Lost Community Podcast Book Club, but I wasn't able to get my hands on it. I tried to sign it out of the public library, but it was in the childrens' section and I went in to look for it but felt really awkward so I left immediately.  But yesterday, I walked in with purpose grabbed the book and fled the scene.  Ha.

Today I read Stardust.  I enjoyed the movie and noticed that it was on a few lists of great fantasy novels so I thought I'd enjoy reading it.  I've been reading a lot lately.  I was revisiting my personal library and rereading old favourites but I guess I'm in a mood to read some new things now so I took out 5 books from the library that I've never read before.  Anyways, I have been reading quite a bit and I've started to enjoy reading the acknowledgements.  I never read them in the past but I think it helps me understand the books a little better.

If I were to ever write the stories in my head, I wonder what my acknowledgements would look like.  I wonder if I would thank all the girls that I model my heroines after.  I wonder if people who know me and read the book would say, "hey, I swear the girl in the book is totally so and so."  Would that make me pathetic?  A television show that I've always loved but have refused to revisit is Dawson's Creek.  Throughout the series, he tells the story of him and Joey three times in short movie, movie, and tv show form.  In a way, it's so sad, but don't we all just rehash our lives in our mediums of choice?  I dunno.  Peace out.

Winter's Coming

Winter's Coming

It's autumn and my vision is clearer
I can see much further down the street
the trees having shed their leaves

I look through the trunks and branches
looking for the horizon that was invisible
just a few weeks ago

Winter's coming

I came up with the idea about being able to see further now that the leaves are on the ground yesterday on my run.  I didn't have anything to write the idea on so I hoped that I would remember it.  That's one of my flaws of my plan to write things down when I think of them so that I don't forget them.  Oh well.  The outdoor running season should be coming to an end soon.

Winter's coming.  I want to get into some of the later books of the Song of Fire and Ice series or something like that but I have to get through The Stand first.  I look forward to being united with the Starks.  Peace out.

The Sea

The Sea

I remember today as if it was a dream
hazy and unclear it seems
But yesterday felt a little more solid
today almost seems invalid

I remember talking something about teams
but no one is on my team it seems
I throw the ball and run to make the catch
like Desmond locked inside the hatch

I remember trying to stick to the theme
but I ran aground in the narrow stream
and couldn't make my way down to the sea
where you were waiting patiently

Back in grade 12, I wrote a very short story titled, "The Mediterranean".  I'm in love with the sea.  One of my favourite Narnia books is "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader".  There's something dreamy about being on the sea.  I don't know what I'm talking about.  Today's piece was actually inspired by Lord of the Rings and the Ents.  I'm not sure if this was only in the movie, but I was inspired by the line, "We're not anybody's side because no one is entirely on our side" or something like that.  Essentially, there wasn't a Team Ents.  I don't know why, but that line always catches my attention whenever I watch the movies... not that I watched them today.  Peace out.

Let's Talk

Let's Talk

Let's talk
as we walk through the woods
picking up sticks to use as canes
last night's rains still gathered in puddles
beside the trail
The woods never fail to inspire the silence
that comes when one feels so small
It's fall and the coloured leaves litter the ground
we came out here to talk but the leaves are the ones making the only sounds

Lame.  I haven't written in a couple days and I just wanted to write something.  Peace out.

time and time and time

time and time and time

everything you do is wrong
you strummed too fast for this particular song
nothing you do is right
thinking it's day in the middle of the night
you can't win by design
there is no reason or rhyme
just time and time and time

give it another shot
you might think you're getting the hang of it
but you're not

I was thinking a little too much today.  When I realized that I was thinking too much today, it got me thinking of the saying, "Don't think about it.  Just do it."  That is the typical advice that I get, being a thinker.  But then I was thinking about the other people on the other side of the spectrum - the people who don't think before they act.  They are given the advice, "Think before you act."  So it just seems like we all just do life wrong.  If you're a thinker, don't think.  And if you're not a thinker, think.  It makes me feel that any advice and the opposite advice has an equal probability of being the correct advice.  I don't get it at all.  Peace out.

Wrong Cheek

Wrong Cheek

I can't trust my eyes
and I don't hear things with much accuracy
My version of the world is flawed
It's as though I'm looking at it through uncut diamonds
distorted
and unclear
worse than trying to write looking in a mirror
I shed a single tear
and wipe the wrong cheek 

Our view of the world is so flawed.  I know mine is whenever I look at a picture of myself or record myself singing/playing guitar.  My initial reaction always is, "is that what I look like?"  or "is that what I sound like?"  I wonder sometimes if I'm actually right and that I shouldn't be swayed by these imperfect recorders.  All recording devices are flawed too and they can't capture reality exactly.  But I concede that probably both are true:  the recorders are imperfect and so is my view of reality.  It's weird though because an outside observer should be able to see reality as it is.... unless it's another person or another recorder - both would be imperfect.

I'm awful at doing things while looking in a mirror.  I can figure out left from right, but my depth perception is awful.  Peace out.

Digging for Gold

Digging for Gold

You raked the leaves
but I dug for gold
The work is good
to help beat the cold

I searched for meaning
deep deep underground
surrounded by dirt
but still no gold was found

So I've been reading John Piper lately.  Something I read today hit me.  I don't remember it word for word but he said something like, "Raking is easier than digging, but you only get leaves.  Only by digging can you hope to find diamonds"... or something like that.  He was referring to the studying of the Word.  I dunno.  This is too deep for my silly blog.  Peace out.