Free Time

I found myself with two hours of precious free time
and knew I didn't want to waste them
so I sat and thought of all the things I could do
As a favour to my eyes, I could take a nap
As a favour to my heart, I could go for a run
As a favour to my mind, I could do yoga
to my brain, I could sink deep into the couch and watch tv
to my fingers, I could dance them across the fret board
to my future self, I could work on my penmanship
Time slips and slips

I dunno.  I was having a philosophical conversation yesterday about how there is a hierarchy of acceptable things to do during your free time.  Watching tv shows (especially soaps) are deemed a waste of time.  A nap is acceptable based on the audience.  Why is reading a book better than watching tv?  Is playing a video game with a friend slightly better than playing a video game by yourself?  Is playing video games with your kids better than going for a walk?  How about a walk vs doing chores around the house?  How about sprawling out on the floor, staring at the ceiling and actively listening to your favourite album?  Why is there value writing in your journal about the past when you can be doing something in the present?  At the end of the day, I say I dunno.  Do whatever you want.  Peace out.

Ducks

I did my push ups and learned to throw a ball
swallowed my pride even when it was hard to
and said my prayers at night
I read all the great books so we'd have stuff to talk about
and even dabbled in music until I developed callouses
I tried my hand at art
may it be graphite or prose

Trying to get all my ducks in a row

I worked my whole life 
for love at first sight

I was listening to a Blue Jays baseball podcast this morning (in case she's a blue jays fan) and the host said something along the lines of "worked their whole life to be an over night success".  It reminded me of my poem about investing in things and how it takes so much time to be develop the skills to a point where you are great at anything.  Of course, knowing me, I twisted it into working hard to be loveable at first sight... even though, in all honesty, I think I'm more of an acquired taste.  Peace out.

The Tapper

A life trapped in words
discouraged
I hold onto the escalator rail
head reeling
denying the feeling in the pit of my stomach
as if it was an annoying neighbour
that would leave after a few knocks if you were quiet
I sigh and rattle the rail in dots and dashes
to the girl with the lashes and red framed glasses
"I'm new to the city and I think you're pretty"

I was in a meeting with this girl for the first time last week.  I felt like she was really playing it up to try to impress this other guy at the meeting that I knew she didn't know.  My coworker looked at me and she gave me this like sly smile cause I think she thought I was checking her out.  In reality, I was just zoned out cause I was thinking about all the work I had to do from a previous meeting.  I knew I didn't have any interest in her because when I was thinking about it later, I realized I didn't check to see if she had a ring... anyways, I just thought of her because I thought she had really weird clumpy lashes.

Anyways, again... I had this random thought today as I was going up the escalator at the Ctrain stop.  When I went to grab the escalator rail, it moved a little and I thought, "I wonder if I could communicate via morse code by shaking this rail in a controlled manner?"  Super random, I know.  I wonder what message I would communicate. I wish I had paid more attention when I was getting my ham radio license.  Look me up people.  My call sign is VE4DGT.  Peace out.

Change

What am I doing here?
Repeating the same mistakes
Crispy chicken skins
Red, bloody steaks
I've danced this dance
This isn't strange
Here's my chance
To invoke real change

I've been listening to this health podcast lately and I'm in this fitness kick right now.  But I keep making the same mistakes.  I keep going for the wrong girl.  Wait?  I see what you did there.  Peace out.

Smooth

In the end she didn't wait for me
I'm not sure why I thought she would
maybe if I was good enough
was taller and said the right stuff
It might have made a difference
I question my moves and go over the replays
noticing the silence and the mental delays
as my mouth searches for words that my mind is already thinking
drinking in the pauses 
I'm nauseated 
I should have listened to myself when I debated
I chose the wrong move
I hear a voice in my mind say "smooth..."

Haven't written in a while.  She didn't wait.  They never do... Here's another piece to you.  Peace out.

Secret Thought

I cracked open a book to write down a secret thought
but I was not alone enough
Found a quiet corner in the basement
but still I needed more privacy
I turned off the lights and sat in the dark
Mentally whispering it to myself
but I stopped mid-sentence
unsure if I wanted to know what I was going to say
I didn't have enough courage yesterday

I think it's interesting that our body/brain knows things that we don't.  Like when we have an infection, our body is busy fighting it off and we don't really know what's going on.  I wanted to investigate the idea of secrets that we keep from ourselves.  I have secrets that I'm too scared to write down in my journal because I think that makes things final or something.  Sometimes things are final way before we are ready to admit it to ourselves.  I share a lot of personal thoughts on this blog.  Hopefully I've encrypted them enough so that I won't regret my "openness" in the future.  Peace out.

The Band

I cut the chord



and let the silence fill the room
I raise my arm and count down from four
three
two
the drummer hits the crash
and we're into the thick of it again
rhythm riding through the crowd
with the tapping of toes and clapping of hands
I turn around and acknowledge the band

Haven't played in front of people for ages.  I kinda miss it... even though this piece is not how my sets are like.  Haha.  Peace out.

Wrong Again

I won't quote the famous phrase that contains "absence" and "fonder"
I wander and wonder
Did your mother forbid you to talk to me
Or is that just a lie I choose to believe?
Maybe your friends warned that I was trouble
Your feelings expanding like the skin of a bubble
Growing too fast and inevitably bursting
I, on the other hand, hide in the corner of my mind
Next to the few remaining lines of memorized Teddy Ruxpin songs
And my silly crush on Sailor Mars
I carried an umbrella today expecting rain
That never came
Wrong again

I like a lot of ideas that I threw in this piece but I'm not entirely in love with it as a whole.  Hide yo wives. Hide yo daughters.  Seriously.  Peace out.

Head Banger

I banged my head and thought of you
trying to remember something new

Short and sweet today.  I was thinking of memory again today.  Numerous scientific studies have shown that our memories are not that great at remembering details.  Just consider how many times people are misidentified in police lineups.  Memories are just chemicals stored in our brains and the way our neurons are connected.  What if you could cause brain damage and remember more fondly?  I dunno.  Peace out.

cloud escort

cloud escort
raining on me with every step
large sparse droplets
wetting my hair and darkening my jeans
what does this all mean?
there's no double rainbows
or yellow umbrellas
just grey skies
a boy
and a song is his heart

This cloud totally followed me as I walked to church last night.  I like walking in the rain BUT only walking home in the rain.  Walking to somewhere in the rain just means you get to be wet when everyone else is probably dry because they took their dinosaur-powered boxes... haha.

I wanted to write about rain because I wanted to share two thoughts I had about rain as it has been raining here quite a bit lately.  I would bet that more umbrellas are thrown away when it's raining then when it's sunny.  That's quite contrary to what I know about supply and demand but I guess umbrellas only break when it's raining.  My second thought is that whenever it rains, I always wish I'd spent more money on my umbrella.  With even a slight breeze, I feel my umbrella doubt its desire to remain umbrella shaped.  Where does one buy a confident umbrella?  Peace out.