and so I walk (3)

You forgot
but I will help you remember
remember again to believe impossible things
to live in the dreamers' domain
go through the motions
until you love me again
I can't sit here staring at the clock
and so I walk

I just started season 2 of The OA.  Let's walk.  Peace out.

and so I walk (2)

and so I walk
until my knees are sore
and I wish I didn't own my feet anymore
yet you still do not love me
It will happen with the next step
I bet
or hope
dream maybe
mile after delirious mile
I continue to put one foot in front of the other
'cause I'm incapable of learning
and I refuse to burn it all down

Maybe this is a start of a new series... but without the fun of starting each one with the same line as I did with my Math series.  My body has recovered quite well after yesterday's 55k.  My heart though... Peace out.

and so I walk (1)

I cannot stop thinking about you
and so I walk
and talk to myself
daydreaming
scheming
imagining the different tactics I could try
walking past girls with their guys
with little coffee cups
where are they getting those from?
I cannot figure out this deadlock
and so I walk

Today was 55k steps.  I'm in pain. Not going to deny it.  I wish I was taking data as I was walking.  I would plot time vs. how I was feeling mentally and physically.  Surprising both of those ebbed and flowed. Yes.  I'm still nuts.  Peace out.

math (5)

i always consider you in my math
if i fail this time, i'll take another pass
sip some water and do my N plus one-th lap
the failed attempt will not be my last

i long to hold you
that is the task
all i need to do is learn the right way to ask

So I have a google speaker and it's challenging sometimes getting it to do what I want it to.  It's all in the way I ask.  Sometimes I have to phrase things unnaturally because I know that it worked that one time previously.  I'm still learning.  600! and just as cryptic as ever.  Peace out.

math (4)

i always consider you in my math
you and everyone else makes two
there's the you and the not-yous
the shadow players
the ones in the back mouthing "watermelon cantaloupe" 
so the cameras think they are real people with real thoughts
i have practiced enough to believe impossible things

there are two women in the whole world
and i chose the only one

Cherry picking ideas today.  Love Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass.  In it there's a line when Alice is talking to the (White?) Queen and the queens says, "Why, sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."  Believing impossible things just takes practice it seems.  The other inspirational idea comes from the movie Big Fish.  Jenny is talking to Will about his dad and says, "See, to him, there's only two women: your mother and everyone else..." 

Pulling out the big guns today.  Tomorrow is (probably) 600.  Peace out.

math (3)

i always consider you in my math
in fact, i don't know how i told time before you
before i was able to mark intervals between seeing your smile
the time we spend together is measured in miles
my fluttering heart quickens my feet
i must remember to slow down to cherish you

Math (3) baby! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to find time to write today, but the beauty of being on day 300 on Friday on Duolingo and writing (probably) my 600th poem on this blog on the same day is too fun a coincidence to pass up.

Three more sleeps til 45k. I was excited when I did the math. If I stick with my 5k steps more each Saturday plan, and I started my first Saturday at 35k, then by the week I do 100k, I would have walked a total of 945k steps. If I assume I do 1,700 steps/mile, then I would have walked 555 miles. Unfortunately, the Proclaimers song requires me to walk 500 miles and then 500 more before she will actually love me. Oh well... maybe there's still time? Peace out.

math (2)

i always consider you in my math
you are the variable to optimize
and i am the constant on the other side
we balance each other
reciprocating 
i get down and ask on one knee
let us try for infinity

 As I was taking a stroll down this blog yesterday, I was reminded that there were days when I kept writing poems with the same title to see if I could rift on the same idea and see where it takes me.  This one's a little more hopeful.. and stands out like a sore thumb.  Three more 'til 600.  Peace out.

math (1)

i always consider you in my math
i think of you in the shower, the bath
i laugh and cry
i admit it but will always deny
this feeling that i'm trying to hide
the feelings that cannot stay just inside
they break through the surface
like my torn meniscus 
from the miles i put between me and you

I'm doing the math.  This is my 599th post.  I've never observed any big milestone posts on this blog before.  I guess it was because this new few makes it more obvious how many posts I have on here.  Unfortunately, I have at least 4 posts on here that do not have any poems, but then there's also one with 2 poems... so this is the 599th post, but only the 596th poem.  Make sure to come back for my 600th poem.  I promise you that you will not be surprised by what I'll write about.  Peace out.

Walking

i keep putting one foot in front of the other
not sure if i'm walking towards you or away
the way i can't tell if you even hear me 
or understand the things i'm trying to say
i wave them in the air 
as if the words would float
and find connection with you
why do i feel like i've been here before?
tracing old paths
locked behind doors
the gated garden
the park bench
i put one foot in front of the other
i'm spent

Walking is romantic.  And lame at the same time.  I have the desire to do 100k steps in a day on my fitbit.  I don't know if it's possible.  It seems just beyond reach.  This past Saturday, I did 35k.  It was enough to acquire the next fitbit badge in my collection and it was a distance that felt safe.  All the reading I've done on walking (sigh... I can't believe I read about walking) said that you should slowly build up your mileage.  I want to add 5k every Saturday and see what sort of wall I hit.  To do 35k on Saturday, I did about 5 hours of walking.  I think if I could run some of it, I'd be able to do it in less time since my running cadence is much faster than walking.  Peace out.

illegible

i play the slow game
took two weeks to learn your name
i hold my breath while you are gone
humming bars from a new song
i wrote the notes in my illegible hand
so that even i cant revisit them when this is over

I started carrying a little book around with me to capture ideas so I don't lose them.  I misplace my ideas often.  Or maybe all I really have is the same idea over and over again.  Peace out.