Favourite Scenes

What are your favourite scenes?
What do they tell you about yourself?
The movies you watch time and again
The lines you play in our heads on repeat?

Who are we when we sleep?
When our inhibitions fall away?
How many nights do you regret that you took the leap?
and will you still be here when the night becomes day?

I think it's interesting when people talk about their favourite things. Growing up, I never really thought that I had favourite things. And whenever I was asked, "what's your favourite colour?" or "what's your favourite food?", I would just make up something. I think I still feel that way although now I have some canned answers so that my made up answers are at least consistent. I won't give any examples... firstly because I don't want people to think that what they think is my favourite movie may not be or that my favourite food is a lie. And secondly I don't want anybody hacking into my online accounts by knowing the answers to my secret questions.

I'm thinking about these things because even though I don't really have a clear favourite movie, I know that there are scenes in movies that I like that are my favourite scenes in those movies. And then I started thinking about my favourite scenes... and then I started watching clips on youtube. I'm chasing rabbits down rabbit holes. Peace out.

Choices

You chose this
You decided that our lives would be a mess
We stand face to face
You in grey and me in a white dress
I love you more
and you love me less
We danced this night
and failed the test

I just watched The Romantics on netflix. Seeing Katie Holmes again brings me back 10 years to the days when I would watch Dawsons Creek and think that the show runners were from the future and knew what was going to happen in my life a few weeks in advance. Perhaps a lot of people felt that way. Perhaps seeing Katie again backed by the sounds of Armistice just puts me in the mood to play guitar at inappropriate hours... forcing me to find quieter activities like writing into the abyss. Peace out.

No Words

Would you love me if I had no words?
the inability to verbalize things you deserved
Could you love me if I couldn't say
things to make you better when you weren't ok?

Could I sway you with my posture
the subtleties in how I hold my shoulders?
Could I win your heart with my actions
and convince you to stay as we both grow older?

I watched Love Actually yesterday.  It was a bit too optimistic for my liking... too many happy endings.  There was one relationship that caught my attention.  The guy spoke english and the girl was portuguese and they spent a lot of time together but didn't understand each other when they spoke... and some how they fell in love.

I'm always a bit confused by relationships where they don't share the same native tongue.  I think as people, we really long to be understood... to feel this sense of one-ness... and I don't really understand how that works when communication is such a potential area for mishaps.  What if you choose the wrong word?  Or unintentionally put your foot in your mouth by choosing the wrong cultural-based saying?

Or maybe words are entirely over rated.  Maybe tone and body language is king.  Maybe you can fall in love with no words.  I dunno.  Peace out.

I Hate You

I love you but I hate you
Is there really a difference?
Are they not really just the same thing
with hating being one degree easier?
A task well suited for lesser men

I think this is an interesting idea and a slippery slope.  The idea that love and hate are so closely related and that one could easily cross this very narrow line many times a day - between love and hate.  It's so easy and comes so natural.  It's very scary indeed.  Peace out.

Headphones

The sound of the rain bleeds through my headphones
drowning my mind
and soaking my thoughts
It washes my memories of you that I've kept high on a shelf
safe from the high waters
I think of all the "should've"s and the "oughta"s
Mistakes we made lying to ourselves
and living life in the short term

Watched Midnight in Paris last night and all it did was make me want to watch Before Sunrise so I watched that tonight. I love that movie. It's funny because watching Before Sunrise is all really just a build up for watching Before Sunset and that scene in the taxi. I love that scene. I love it and I hate it.

It's storming here in Calgary. It doesn't usually do that here. It's not like Winnipeg with the summer lightning storms. I'm feeling nostalgic. Perhaps I should open up a nostalgia store and sell misery... or is that a song? Peace out.

Good Enough

I can't wonder but to think that I'm not good enough
that I don't have the stuff
Not an ounce of me even doubts
that I'm someone you could live without

I can't help but to think that one day I'll be proven right
maybe not today and maybe not even tonight
but someday in your life
you'll regret being my wife

I can write stuff like this because I'm not married... and don't have to worry about such things like not being good enough or being married to the wrong person.  I couldn't even begin to imagine what that would feel like and I wish it on everyone.  That was not a typo.  Haha.  Peace out.

smile

it's that look
your right dimple exaggerated by the lighting
like lightning 
feelings ignite in the pit of my stomach
butterflies - their wings churning
fuelling the burning in the corners of my heart
disrupting the dust that gathered in piles
my life upside down - the result of a smile

This is something stupid that I wanted to write because I jokingly said at life group today that I was in love with this girl that I've met once.  This one is for you girl.  Peace out.

Feeling

Reeling from a feeling
that we individually define
A sign
A smile or frown
we drown in the emotion
swimming in the ocean
of abstract ideas

Lately, I've been thinking about colour blindness.  Apparently 1 out of 12 males have some sort of colour blindness. I think I first learnt about colour blindness when I was a kid at Touch the Universe (a science type museum for kids).  Wouldn't it be awful to learn that you were colour blind at Touch the Universe?  That got me thinking about how we learn about colours and how we define colours.  Like, how do I know what I think is red is actually what everybody else considers red.  Sometimes I find myself disagreeing with people about if something is pink or if it's orange.  That salmon colour can be tricky sometimes.

What if we have the same confusion when it comes to feelings?  How do I know if we have a universal definition of happiness, or sad.  What if we all experience feelings differently and talk about them as if we're using a common reference point of definitions?  I start a new job tomorrow.  People have asked me if I'm excited.  I can't remember the last time I was excited about something and not more nervous at the same time.  Maybe what I call "nervous", people call "excited"?  I dunno.  It's not a complete thought.  Peace out.

Wonderstruck

I dreamed of you once
in a waking dream I believe
closing my eyes to weave
the happenstance
the song, the dance
The tale I tell myself
a twist of fate
the dreamer's luck
I can't forget you
I'm wonderstruck

Going through the motions of writing.  Peace out.

Him

I hesitate
like I've never been to the dance before
I laugh and pretend to ignore you
and your straw blonde hair
walking around without a care
and smirking to myself
as if I'm remembering something funny
The song has an awkward cadence
my feet can't find the rhythm
I glance back at you
and see you watching him

I feel like I've written this piece before.  I've been neglecting this blog in order to write in my other new blog.  Actually, that's not entirely true.  It's not like I've written a lot for my other blog.  If I write a lot to close out the year, I might still be able to match my average posts/year.  I think I should start writing more again.  I need somewhere to release all my creative juices... and write about pretend muses.  Peace out.