Different Ghosts

I'm still the same person
but with different ghosts
Rehashing steps and
Regretting more than before
I reread the history of my choices
and remembered how I ended up here
I fear tomorrow
as my legs grow stiff
refusing to move on

There aren't a lot of things I can do while on a plane while waiting for take off.  Most of my means of passing time involve electronics.  Even my reading is done on my kobo these days.  The only non-electronic book I had on me was a book about how to improve penmanship and I had already spent 30 odd minutes looking at it at the gate.  I had packed my journal.  I had planned to write in it while on vacation but I never got around to it... for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to read some of it on the plane yesterday.  Reading my journal is very different from reading this blog.  Things are more real because they are less disguised.  That's probably why I find it so much easier to write here.  I don't have to be honest with myself.

I checked ticket prices for flying back in November.  I can do it for $360.  But then I'll probably come back during Christmas too.  Not sure how wise it is if I spent ~$2000 flying home 4 times (July, September, November, and December).  I'm also studying for the engineering ethics exam.  It's one of the steps to getting my P.Eng which comes with a raise.  If I assume (idiotically) that means a $20,000 raise after taxes and I assume that it costs $500 for flight and associated costs, I can come home 40 times next year.  Of course, that's just an example of some of the crazy math I did in my journal when I was thinking that I might have had a shot at a job in Wpg 3 years ago.  Peace out.