Heartless and Brokenness (2 poems from the archives)

I've been cleaning my room lately and came upon a couple poems that I wrote a long time ago so I thought I'd put them on here to keep the records complete.

June 5, 1999

Heartless

Walking up and down these aisles
I realize one thing and it hurts like crazy
Heartless
I am heartless
This realization makes my head spin and my mind hazy
Memories flash before my eyes
Still photographs of loved ones come and go
Again I realize
Pieces of my heart are spread thinly across this land
Gifts that I have given
Times that I have shared
All these things contained a piece of me
The love that I have given my friends are just pieces of my heart
A crown
A heart
Friendship
The circles that my life takes
Ring around my finger
The things that I hold precious
Slip through my hands
The people that I love
Just beyond my reaches
The pain inflicted by losing friends is tolerable
But the pain of losing her is unbearable
When dear friends move they take a piece of me with them
And the continual renewal of friendship refuels my body and rebuilds my heart
But I offered her all of my heart
A gift that is nonrefundable and nonexchangeable
Unacceptable
Unappreciated
Taken for granted
Forsaken
Walking up and down these aisles
I realize one thing and it hurts like crazy
Heartless
I am heartless


June 20, 1999


Brokenness

Letter my lover does send
but purpose not broken hearts to mend
Hateful thoughts in blue ink on white scroll
Letter by letter, word by word, it takes its toll
Tears are no longer shed for my precious one
My heart longs for rain but I fear it sun
The perilous T intersection
We travel as one but then must us two direction
One leads to joy, pleasure, and bliss
the other is robbery, stolen with a kss
The innocence of hope dashed by letter wrote
Sits I in a crowd but my heart is remote
Ring on my finger speaks of love and devotion
Letter claims it but just "Joe" emotion
The solution lies in my blue velvet pouch
A ring that sings of hurt and doubt
Two hands clasp a heart of stone
I must protect it for I am alone
Sadness takes me from top of head to depth of soul
Tears held back begin to roll
Letters, notes, two rings and a kss
leave me crying -- Brokenness



Wow, I read them for the first time in a long time as I typed them up. Heavy stuff... written after a break up. Heavy but there are some brilliant lines in there for sure.