Hidden Agenda - Item 2: See her

when your love is true
move on to step two and see her
do not overlook the obvious things
necklaces, earrings and rings
shoes and slight changes in hair styles
linger a while
and take photos with your mind
be kind and notice
the less tangible
see the things she is too scared to show you
see between the lines
recognize what is different this time
love her and see her with all you can
let her know you understand

This series is wrecking me and I'm only on step 2. I'm planning on 6 steps... and some of them are definitely steps I've never experienced and can only speculate what they would be like.

I walked the river this morning before work and thought it would be nice to take out my headphones and enjoy the sound of the river. River sounds were quite muted, but my thoughts were fairly loud. I leaned into the sadness and it pulled me. I was drowning as the day progressed and had to go home early. The things we do for art. I'm going to walk the river again before work tomorrow. I don't know if doing it again will fix me or break me beyond repair. Peace out.

Hidden Agenda - Item 1: Love her

the song has begun
restart from the beginning
start with step one
love her
in the rain and the sun
love her on your own
love her while you're alone
love her from afar
love her from iron to rust
love her like star dust
rare and everywhere
love her when she's not being fair
love her with blood, gut and brain
and then start the song over again

I have an idea for a new series. The idea is based on men always having a hidden agenda. I'm a man and have a hidden agenda written on a post-it note that I carry around. This is step 1. Peace out.

ice cream thought

riding the elevator
when i had an ice cream thought
an idea that can only be soothed by frozen dairy

It's weird. I'm weird. My idle mind wants to make me gain weight by driving me towards ice cream. I walk alone. Peace out.

Layers

she needed proof
so i pulled back one more layer of truth
to reveal a truer reality
something of a mystery
building in time
under the skin
beyond the asking
the questions too out there
but one step closer
to the heart of it

I've been thinking about the concept of levels of truth or layers of truth. I'm not sure if it's a fully formed thought yet. The poem is a little under-done and could use some more baking for sure.

Sometimes we tell ourselves things or our friends things and at the surface, all the words are true; but often times there's an even deeper truth that we are not aware of or we are totally aware of but decide not to share because it would make us too vulnerable. Sometimes the smile is the lie. Peace out.

permanence

it feels like before again
before there were other men
vying and dying 
i'm not sure what i was thinking
i need to forget the pencil and start the inking

There are things that we think are temporary but they are actually the new norm.  And other things can be erased and forgotten. It's hard to differentiate between the two though at the time. Peace out.

in the waiting

i spent my night feeling sad

missing things i never had

always putting her first

until i couldn't take it anymore and my heart burst

i thirst for another answer

another ending maybe

the stillness in the waiting

but it wasn't for me

I wrote this last night but didn't want to double up on the day. Yesterday was rough. No joke. Peace out.

lucifer season 1 spoilers

i've been invincible for so long
but you have made me weak
i walked alone
but now there's someone i seek
i allow myself to get shot in the chest
so i can rest on this cold concrete floor
i don't want to be vulnerable no more
and yet i still run to you

Just finished Lucifer season 1. I'm a mess and expect too much. Peace out.

golden hour

i'll meet you at the golden hour
and speak soft words in the softest of lights
you are my delight - my joy
meet me to explore the shore
and i'll prove to you i love you more

I've been thinking about what the best hour of the week is. In photography, there's this notion of the golden hour around sunset and sunrise where the lighting is softer. I think based on my sleep cycle and the north american work week that 9 am on a Saturday is the best time to spend with those you love. Fight me. Peace out.

In the Waiting

do you think of me in the waiting
when i'm not right in front of you
out of sight and out of mind
blinking in and out of time 
i only exist between the rhymes

I wrote a piece about this concept before that got me in a little trouble. Do you think about me when I'm not around? I'll never know. Peace out.

flying

i think of you in the waiting
abating breaths
the rests between footfalls
as i walk this storm
never allowing myself to lose touch with the ground
i spin round in my convoluted thoughts
refusing to jump
in an attempt to fly

Thinking about walking... So the difference between walking and running is that when you're walking, you never actually lose complete contact with the ground. i.e., at least one foot is on the ground at all times. When you run, you actually spend some time with both feet off the ground.

Almost done. Peace out.