What I Have Learned By Now

What I Have Learned By Now

It is late and I stand by my window
Outside it is dark but I am not concerned with the outside
I look inward to my room
On the wall hangs a portrait of a forsaken love
On the desk lies kisses that should have never been sent
In my heart...

In my heart there rings a love song
A song intertwined with tears
With tears that know not their purpose
Tears that are only controlled by gravity
Falling and falling toward a nothingness
For a nothingness
Not knowing who
why
what for
These are the questions that my tears ask
These are the questions that torment my mind
But my heart only knows to cry

The battle inside rages on
The wisdom of the mind versus the yearnings of the heart
The logistics of living versus the foolishness of love
The preservation of self versus her happiness
Her happiness
That is what this has always been about
Her happiness
That is what I truly desire
Her happiness
As unattainable as the stars in the sky
As mysterious as the formations of frost on the cold windows
As desirable as water to a journeyman in a never ending desert

I have learned many things but nothing as prominent as this:
Love is never wrong and so love never dies
These are the words that love lives by

Well, this software has been giving me problems already so I'm not sure how long I'll stick to this site for my wonderful poems. So, as you can see, I've started this blog so I can post some weak poems that I haven't written yet. Hahahaha... pressures on now.

What I have included in my first post is the very first poem that I had written that wasn't for school. It was written on April 26, 1999 and it's titled "What I Have Learned by Now". At that point in my life, I was rather interested in an artsy girl and that made the engineery guy in me want to be more artsy. I actually got inspired to start writing poems again because I saw a special on muchmoremusic about Sarah Slean. She is this singer/poet/artist... and one day I'm gonna marry her!!! Just kidding... I don't even think she's french. Anyways, so hopefully this will be the first poem of many.

p.s. I am aware that "engineery" is not a word but as a poet, I will take the liberty to make up words as I go.