tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88895619661104540102024-02-20T09:07:46.637-07:00Weak Poems by MeYou would think that I have a poetry blog because I write poems, but you'd be wrong. I write poems because I have a poetry blog. For the new comers, this is just a lame blog that I'm attempting to update regularly and I'm using "poems" as a gimmick for intros for what I feel like talking about. My apologies to those who were misled by google into thinking that this was what they were looking for.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.comBlogger640125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-83496472538417649492019-08-08T21:54:00.001-06:002019-08-08T21:54:39.023-06:00spark<i>i can't get past this dish</i><br />
<i>a pasta dish served cold</i><br />
<i>i wish and wish</i><br />
<i>you'd break the mold</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>the patterns seemed to have been set</i><br />
<i>i lost the bet it seems</i><br />
<i>i go through reams of paper</i><br />
<i>boxing myself even further into the corner</i><br />
<i>i just want to hold her once</i><br />
<i>before the pumpkins are harvested</i><br />
<i>and i walk to work in the dark</i><br />
<i>and i walk home from work in the dark</i><br />
<i>i stopped her before we could even start</i><br />
<i>mumbling something about protecting her heart</i><br />
<i>spark</i><br />
<br />
This is classic me around this time of the year. Give me space and grace. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-3647615096079230712019-08-07T21:23:00.002-06:002019-08-07T21:26:02.878-06:00boxes<i>the shadows in the night feel so unfamiliar</i><br />
<i>now that i've unpacked the final box</i><br />
<i>i choose to walk and walk and walk</i><br />
<i>trying to tire myself out</i><br />
<i>i give an internal shout and sit up in bed</i><br />
<i>with ideas racing through my head</i><br />
<i>craving sushi</i><br />
<i>who is she</i><br />
<i>"to know her is to love her"</i><br />
<i>and i've lost before i've even started</i><br />
<br />
I finally unpacked the last box. It only took me 11 months. Challenge completed. I've had the same shadow in that corner of my condo the whole time I've lived here and now it's different. Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-12298965904537714312019-08-03T20:46:00.004-06:002019-10-03T20:54:55.713-06:00Gaunt<i>I was happy before I met you</i><br />
<i>at least that is how I remember things</i><br />
<i>but how is it I can't stop thinking about you</i><br />
<i>where are you now?</i><br />
<i>who are you with?</i><br />
<i>will we ever be together again?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I have been hungry since I've met you</i><br />
<i>never satisfied</i><br />
<i>always wanting more</i><br />
<i>I cannot be satiated</i><br />
<i>I have gone gaunt</i><br />
<i>you are all I want</i><br />
<br />
I'm really just writing this to remind future me that I read "One Day in December" by Josie Silver around this time in my life. I should not be allowed to read romance. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-39277723088913626602019-07-28T19:28:00.002-06:002019-07-28T19:28:47.162-06:00for me<i>for me</i><br />
<i>loving you has meant it is always raining</i><br />
<i>not that i am complaining</i><br />
<i>what is the big deal about getting wet anyways</i><br />
<i>unless maybe it is on days likes these</i><br />
<i>where circumstances has gotten me to my knees</i><br />
<i>and i think that maybe this should be easier</i><br />
<i>and maybe if you would just be here</i><br />
<i>and tell me it is going to be okay</i><br />
<i>and tell me to say what i have been wanting to say</i><br />
<i>because it will not scare you away</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>for me</i><br />
<i>loving you has meant you are always reigning</i><br />
<i>and i am just your future in training</i><br />
<br />
It feels like it has rained here everyday this summer. I bought some carrot cake oreos and decided I would save them for a rainy day. I finished the last one today. Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-35184008682068459772019-07-10T20:09:00.002-06:002019-07-10T20:09:22.290-06:00hope<i>hope is the sharp edge I keep cutting my finger on</i><br />
<i>it's the song that I play over and over</i><br />
<i>thinking that it might end differently</i><br />
<i>that the part after the bridge will change</i><br />
<i>hope is the thing that messes with my brain</i><br />
<i>thinking it's romantic to walk in the rain</i><br />
<i>swinging on planks suspended by chains</i><br />
<i>and I think maybe </i><br />
<i>just maybe I should try again</i><br />
<i>and again</i><br />
<br />
I was thinking of this piece as I walked to work today. I was thinking about the idea of a <i>hopeless romantic</i>. Lots of people are romantics and unfortunately more than a few people are hopeless but what makes one a hopeless romantic? I guess I'm proposing it's the inability to learn and the ability to heal just enough for the next cut. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-54511205416037250302019-06-12T21:49:00.000-06:002019-06-12T21:49:04.307-06:00Onions<i>i chased her again as i do</i><br />
<i>and pierced through the layers</i><br />
<i>learning about her more and more</i><br />
<i>as we explored together under the sun</i><br />
<i>it begun</i><br />
<i>the process that changes two people to one</i><br />
<i>there's no going back now</i><br />
<i>and it's not hyperbole</i><br />
<i>this is the science of chemistry</i><br />
<br />
So I got it in my head to see what eating a raw onion like an apple would be like. I was able to do two bites before it started to not sit well in my stomach. I gave it some time and tried to take a third bite but by then my brain had caught up with me and I instantly spat it out. I ended up caramelizing the rest of it and eating it with hot dogs.<br />
<br />
It made me think of chemical changes. Something changes permanently when you cook it. It becomes something different; something new. And in the case of onions, something a lot more palatable for me. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-37353932477999010482019-06-02T15:35:00.002-06:002019-06-02T15:35:49.240-06:00HTFILWA CH 10: Devotion<i>i tried to prove my devotion</i><br />
<i>and started throwing rocks into the ocean</i><br />
<i>the waters began to rise as if in slow motion</i><br />
<i>and yet i'm nowhere nearer to your heart</i><br />
<i>but i made a start with this rock</i><br />
<i>i moved away from talk and showed some action</i><br />
<i>i need more of you; i want satisfaction</i><br />
<i>to demonstrate my devotion was extraordinary</i><br />
<i>that i should be your permanent contemporary</i><br />
<br />
Finally done the book and this mini-project. The last real chapter of the book with new content was about devotion. It made me think of menial/minor tasks that people do to show devotion. What's more idiotic than trying to raise the water level of the ocean by throwing rocks into it?<br />
<br />
This book had a central backbone on Arthur Aron's 36 questions. None of them are magical on their own and there's not really any magic in the list. It's about talking about things that matter and learning things about your partner beyond surface level ideas. Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-17796719890663068242019-06-01T13:39:00.001-06:002019-06-01T13:39:14.067-06:00HTFILWA Ch 9: Choosing<i>i was perusing</i><br />
<i>reading the fine print before the choosing</i><br />
<i>smelled the stem and checked for bruising</i><br />
<i>the instructions were confusing</i><br />
<i>looks from the people waiting behind me were accusing</i><br />
<i>but i've grown tired of all the losing</i><br />
<i>i took extra time to do some musing</i><br />
<i>to make sure this was the right fusing</i><br />
<i>the one i should take home</i><br />
<br />
As I said, I'm doubling up today so that I can finish this book tomorrow and move onto new projects. This chapter was about choosing... based on the premise that if you could fall in love with anyone, how do you choose? I think a lot of these later chapters have had similar themes and I'm hesitant in sharing my thoughts on these topics because I feel they may be better suited for later chapters. Tomorrow's the last day of this project so I'll make sure to include any thoughts in tomorrow's posts. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-25455356621247666992019-06-01T10:38:00.001-06:002019-06-01T10:38:34.251-06:00HTFILWA Ch 8: Advice<i>she thought she'd volunteer unasked for advice</i><br />
<i>i shot her a look of ice</i><br />
<br />
Today's chapter was on bad advice or how every thinks they are an expert about love. I feel like I've already talked about some advice I received in a post earlier this week so I'll leave it at that. I might double-up my writing this weekend because I want to complete this mini-project. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-40112694695099841642019-05-31T21:03:00.002-06:002019-05-31T21:03:57.908-06:00HTFILWA Ch 7: Meet-Cute<i>we met at mile zero</i><br />
<i>as the saying goes</i><br />
<i>sharing words as they come to us</i><br />
<i>trying to gauge the pulse of things</i><br />
<i>i knew i loved you at mile sixty-four</i><br />
<i>and wanted to see you more and more</i><br />
<i>to explore your thoughts on this and that</i><br />
<i>i became an acrobat with my phrases</i><br />
<i>creating hoops and jumping through them</i><br />
<i>i chose you at mile seventy-nine</i><br />
<i>inclined to make loving you my crime</i><br />
<i>and the evidence of my love </i><br />
<i>would be plenty to convict and i'd pay the time</i><br />
<br />
So today's chapter was on the "meet-cute" and I don't know if I've ever seen that phrase written out before; for sure I've heard it said audibly. I guess if you go on blind dates or do online dating, there's a clear memory of how you've met someone. But what if you end up with someone more organically? What if you can't actually remember the first time you met? The author had sorta a throw-away line about how in today's society, it's not about how you meet people, but it's about how you choose people (referring to the idea of online dating apps). I like the idea of knowing when you chose someone in real life. What was the mile marker? Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-29035054888052687232019-05-30T21:46:00.001-06:002019-08-23T21:50:12.552-06:00HTFILWA Ch 6: Black Box<i>Black box</i><br />
<i>polka-dot socks</i><br />
<i>kicked into the corner on the floor</i><br />
<i>but she does not live here anymore</i><br />
<i>I cannot be bothered to pick them up</i><br />
<i>or pretend that that is not her cup</i><br />
<i>that sits unwashed on the coffee table</i><br />
<i>still stained by her lipstick</i><br />
<i>I switch from sadness to reminisce for a bit</i><br />
<i>and sit where she used to sit </i><br />
<i>trying to remember the smell of her</i><br />
<i>the taste of her</i><br />
<i>the feel of her</i><br />
<i>but those memories are locked away</i><br />
<i>and gone with her</i><br />
<br />
Black boxes from airplanes are really about how indestructible the memory is. It needs to survive a crash. The chapter today was about breakups and divorce. It lacked any mention of ice cream. I don't remember what breakups taste like anymore. Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe I'm in for a world of hurt. Peace out.<br />
<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-83696089887681609442019-05-29T20:07:00.003-06:002019-05-29T20:07:50.276-06:00HTFILWA Ch 5: Worth<i>I tried so hard</i><br />
<i>I almost burst</i><br />
<i>trying to show you I'm worth</i><br />
<i>worth the time to sit and think</i><br />
<i>and sync your thoughts with mine</i><br />
<i>take more time if you need it</i><br />
<i>to realize I'm worth -- </i><i>a diamond in rare earth</i><br />
<br />
I'm not sure why in my head "burst" rhymes with "worth". Today's chapter was on <i>deservingness</i> but I thought that was a mouthful to try to rhyme with. The chapter reminded me of some advice someone gave me on a night that was supposed to be honoring me. The context (for some reason) was <i>give him advice on how to find a lady friend</i>. I don't remember what she said word for word but it was something along the lines of <i>work on yourself so that you are worthy of the girl you want to be with</i>. To this day, that advice still rubs me the wrong way. Read into that however you'd like. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-77554916627713715172019-05-28T20:04:00.000-06:002019-05-28T20:04:20.761-06:00HTFILWA Ch 4: Script<i>I wasn't paying attention and so tripped</i><br />
<i>and found myself back on script</i><br />
<i>following the rules of the game</i><br />
<i>following the rules to avoid the shame</i><br />
<i>of texting too often</i><br />
<i>and not waiting long enough</i><br />
<i>I buy her flowers and stuff</i><br />
<i>I counted five or so span</i><br />
<i>to once again dare to touch her hand</i><br />
<i>But now I'm resolved to get out of this rut</i><br />
<i>and look forward to jump the curb at the next short cut</i><br />
<br />
Chapter 4 was about the classic love script and how it makes things easier because both parties are able to read ahead and know how to play it. For me, the more romantic idea is to have a love story that does not follow the script. But there are only a finite number of stories in the world... and maybe only 3 or 4 formulas for boy meets girl.<br />
<br />
As an aside, I think the notion of "span" being a duration of time is something I got out of the Kingkiller chronicles. Span = 11 days apparently. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-35594469901164622142019-05-27T19:56:00.001-06:002019-05-27T19:56:44.241-06:00HTFILWA Ch 3: Context<i>i couldn't imagine it any other way</i><br />
<i>i'd want you to love me every day</i><br />
<i>listen to the words i say</i><br />
<i>tell me things will be okay</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>i don't want to picture it differently</i><br />
<i>i'd want you to sleep next to me</i><br />
<i>i'd want to know you completely</i><br />
<i>no matter the context</i><br />
<br />
So chapter 3 was about context and the author takes a more cynical view on love and marriage. She talks about her grandma and grandpa's marriage and concludes that she doesn't think her grandma would have to get married if she was born in this generation. I understand that the idea of marriage has evolved through time and the circumstances/situations that would drive people to get married have changed as well. But I find it very difficult to say what I'd want in a partner would be any different whether I had the luxury to marry out of love or necessity. Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-76480954977581151812019-05-26T19:37:00.000-06:002019-05-26T19:38:27.808-06:00HTFILWA Ch 2: Story<i>this girl was something of a mystery</i><br />
<i>she came with a story; a history</i><br />
<i>of glories and sorrows</i><br />
<i>i ask her to tell me the tale tomorrow</i><br />
<i>of the first time when she realized that she was mortal</i><br />
<i>a portal into a younger version of herself</i><br />
<i>i ask her the colour of the sky when she first fell in love</i><br />
<i>and the first song she heard when her heart first broke</i><br />
<i>i choke on the details</i><br />
<i>trying to consume all that i can</i><br />
<i>now that i'm applying for the role of leading man</i><br />
<br />
Interesting. So in chapter 2, she recounts how her understanding of how her parents met and fell in love has evolved as she grew older and sought the "truth". I like the idea of story. As adults, we join people mid-story. Everyone has something they can share with you. Everyone has something they can teach you. In the area of love, I think the story angle is very interesting. The act of getting to know each other is a lot about understanding their story; their history. It's dangerous to dwell too much in the past, but so often, what has happened in the past has shaped who we are today. I see you. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-23618827960934744782019-05-25T21:48:00.002-06:002019-05-25T21:48:50.519-06:00HTFILWA Ch 1: Right<i>There was nothing left to do</i><br />
<i>but to go right</i><br />
<i>and enter the night</i><br />
<i>with a skip and a story</i><br />
<i>the glory of the scene</i><br />
<i>setting up the next few years</i><br />
<i>talking over beers and peanuts</i><br />
<i>like time shaping the stream</i><br />
<i>but tonight lacked ice cream</i><br />
<br />
So I'm reading "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32620333-how-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone?from_search=true">How to Fall in Love with Anyone</a>" by Mandy Len Catron and thought it would be fun to write something about each chapter. Chapter 1 discusses the concept of the "right person" and talks about different types of right: moral, narrative, etc. For a long time in my youth, I believed in the One. Pretty famous for it actually but then I transitioned to believing timing was almost more important. Maybe it's not about the "right person" but the right person for right now. Although I don't really believe that is a great answer either because picking a person based on the limited rubric of <i>right now</i> is, by definition, a losing strategy in the long run.<br />
<br />
Tell me the story of how you met. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-69507821917598779852019-05-22T21:51:00.001-06:002019-05-22T21:51:26.367-06:00The Problem with Pain<i>I lost all perspective</i><br />
<i>that's the problem with pain</i><br />
<i>like rain that makes you forget the sun</i><br />
<i>or an ache that makes you forget ever having fun</i><br />
<i>it blinds you from the future</i><br />
<i>and the hope of her</i><br />
<br />
Haha. Weak poem to write about something I've been thinking about. When I was walking on Sunday (and drowning in discomfort/pain), I'd see these runners and think to myself, "I'll never be able to run like that again," cause the pain I was currently feeling made me unable to imagine a time in the future where the pain would be gone. I think there's something about pain that makes it hard for us to think of the future or the past; it's like we are trapped in that moment -- in the despair. I think I'm generally good at maintaining my perspective and remain calm; taking things in stride. I think the same effect happens with emotional pain as well. I think that's why I couldn't stop crying last Tuesday. I was trapped in the moment. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-89601205483888587892019-05-21T21:46:00.001-06:002019-05-21T21:46:27.040-06:00tomorrow<i>i walked on clouds today thinking of you</i><br />
<i>even though my feet are like lead</i><br />
<i>and my calves tighter than i'd like</i><br />
<i>limping behind schedule as it is</i><br />
<i>but i smile and think of what could be</i><br />
<i>i dare to dream again</i><br />
<i>and put my hopes out into the ether</i><br />
<i>my wheelchair future</i><br />
<i>and a dream of late spring</i><br />
<i>flings and rings</i><br />
<i>and tulips bursting from the ground</i><br />
<i>i look around and see you </i><br />
<i>there this whole time</i><br />
<i>rhymes cannot capture this moment</i><br />
<i>i throw off the laments</i><br />
<i>and look forward to tomorrow</i><br />
<br />
Wanted to write something a little happier today. I'm still trying to process my 100k step success. I was told that completing the challenge showed my commitment. I'm not sure "commitment" is the right word. If it was only about commitment, there would never have been a doubt in my mind that I was going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if the word is determination or tenacity... but I doubted I could finish from mid-afternoon on but pushed through. Perhaps I dared to dream. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-32025122014728825862019-05-20T21:11:00.000-06:002019-05-21T21:47:58.850-06:00Power of Lies<i>it is amazing</i><br />
<div>
<i>the power of the lies that we tell ourselves</i></div>
<div>
<i>enabling us to put one foot in front of the other</i></div>
<div>
<i>even though the pain is unbearable</i></div>
<div>
<i>we can juggle the paradox of impossible things</i></div>
<div>
<i>holding onto dreams from sunnier days</i></div>
<div>
<i>the things she says</i></div>
<div>
<i>twisted and remembered in a new light</i></div>
<div>
<i>saved as fuel in your battery for the next fight</i></div>
<div>
<i>the miracle of the tiny seed</i></div>
<div>
<i>that grows to help accomplish the next impossible deed</i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's interesting to me how we can believe things that are not real. Examples include thinking that a girl will magically fall in love with you if you could run one more mile than you were able to the week before... or convincing your legs to move by imagining a scary dog is chasing you. We have the ability to motivate ourselves with lies. If I was feeling more optimistic today, I might have phrased it, "We have the ability to motivate ourselves with dreams." But what is the difference between lies and dreams? Perhaps it's the side of the bed you got out of that morning.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I did my 100,000 step challenge yesterday. I've been in pain all day. I can barely move. Ask me in a week if it was worth it. I'm feeling a little empty right now and have constant chills. Peace out.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-51513090033848617802019-05-18T19:45:00.001-06:002019-05-18T19:45:11.215-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 6: Marry her<i>Now that we have a firm foundation made of bricks</i><br />
<i>we can now move onto step six</i><br />
<i>get down on one knee to propose a new thing</i><br />
<i>ask her to marry you and pull out the ring</i><br />
<i>that you've been playing with </i><br />
<i>with the fingers of your mind</i><br />
<i>ever since the beginning of time</i><br />
<i>everything you've ever written was about her</i><br />
<i>the one there in the end</i><br />
<i>started as friends</i><br />
<i>walking straight paths and around bends</i><br />
<i>you chose to love her</i><br />
<i>and saw her for all that she is</i><br />
<i>touched her hand and held her heart</i><br />
<i>tasted her lips with that first kiss</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Adore her even when you're not enjoying her</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Marry her and you will see</i><br />
<i>it's just step one of a new journey</i><br />
<br />
It's kinda nice to be done this little writing project on the eve of attempting to complete my walking project. And like all things in life, these projects are always a little connected. One inspires the other and the other sends ripples back in time to inspire the one... as though they are just different legs of the same table of my life; attempting to maintain a balance... to prevent all the things I'm building from crumbling down. What will I write tomorrow? Who knows? It's a new day. No way. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-9655991793073178722019-05-17T17:26:00.000-06:002019-05-17T17:26:04.610-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 5: Kiss her<i>Step five</i><br />
<i>feeling alive</i><br />
<i>grab the girl and kiss her</i><br />
<br />
I'm pretty distracted today. I'm really just trying to conserve some energy and mental strength to prepare for my first attempt at 100k steps in a day on Sunday. I say first attempt because I'm not really confident that I'll be able to do it this weekend, but I'll give it my best shot. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-77964487578354861312019-05-16T21:49:00.001-06:002019-05-17T17:26:14.833-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 4: Hold her<i>if you're still keeping score</i><br />
<i>it's time for step four</i><br />
<i>hold her</i><br />
<i>so she can trust that you are there</i><br />
<i>smell her hair</i><br />
<i>get lost in her stare</i><br />
<i>be there for her through wear and tear</i><br />
<i>keep her secrets in your vaults</i><br />
<i>know her strengths and her faults</i><br />
<i>encircled arms around her</i><br />
<i>holding still through the motion blur</i><br />
<br />
Not as in love today, but walking on sunshine. "No way!"<br />
<br />
Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-43627304121479818862019-05-15T20:42:00.001-06:002019-05-15T20:42:33.521-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 3: Touch her<i>step three</i><br />
<i>is easy if you're so inclined</i><br />
<i>but for those who don't get past step two and only pined</i><br />
<i>to touch her</i><br />
<i>to graze hands as you walk the miles</i><br />
<i>or rub shoulders</i><br />
<i>a lingered touch that makes you bolder</i><br />
<i>if it lasts for a micro-second longer</i><br />
<i>you might have told her</i><br />
<i>but the connection breaks</i><br />
<i>and you wake from a dream of dreams</i><br />
<i>a walking dream perhaps</i><br />
<i>as you complete the laps around the possibilities in your head</i><br />
<i>imagining ways to say how you feel</i><br />
<i>you've loved her and saw her</i><br />
<i>but now that you've touched her</i><br />
<i>you know she's real</i><br />
<br />
I kinda like this one. I wasn't sure I had much to write for this step. I'm starting to venture beyond my experiences. I didn't walk the river this morning. We'll never know if that walk would have fixed me or broken me beyond compare. Still pretty broken today tbh.<br />
<br />
Today was the last choir performance and after as I was talking and saying goodbye to the choir director, I initiated a hug. I think I hugged her after the Christmas performances too. She might be in the top 10 people I've hugged in the past decade. But it felt like the natural thing to do.<br />
<br />
Tune in tomorrow for step 4: hold her. Oops. Sorry! Spoiler alert! Hopefully there's enough of a difference between touch her and hold her. I don't have any solid ideas at the moment. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-81672401560545408742019-05-14T20:53:00.002-06:002019-05-14T20:56:46.478-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 2: See her<i>when your love is true</i><br />
<i>move on to step two and see her</i><br />
<i>do not overlook the obvious things</i><br />
<i>necklaces, earrings and rings</i><br />
<i>shoes and slight changes in hair styles</i><br />
<i>linger a while</i><br />
<i>and take photos with your mind</i><br />
<i>be kind and notice</i><br />
<i>the less tangible</i><br />
<i>see the things she is too scared to show you</i><br />
<i>see between the lines</i><br />
<i>recognize what is different this time</i><br />
<i>love her and see her with all you can</i><br />
<i>let her know you understand</i><br />
<br />
This series is wrecking me and I'm only on step 2. I'm planning on 6 steps... and some of them are definitely steps I've never experienced and can only speculate what they would be like.<br />
<br />
I walked the river this morning before work and thought it would be nice to take out my headphones and enjoy the sound of the river. River sounds were quite muted, but my thoughts were fairly loud. I leaned into the sadness and it pulled me. I was drowning as the day progressed and had to go home early. The things we do for art. I'm going to walk the river again before work tomorrow. I don't know if doing it again will fix me or break me beyond repair. Peace out.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8889561966110454010.post-71795296124931115942019-05-13T21:44:00.001-06:002019-05-13T21:44:38.040-06:00Hidden Agenda - Item 1: Love her<i>the song has begun</i><br />
<i>restart from the beginning</i><br />
<i>start with step one</i><br />
<i>love her</i><br />
<i>in the rain and the sun</i><br />
<i>love her on your own</i><br />
<i>love her while you're alone</i><br />
<i>love her from afar</i><br />
<i>love her from iron to rust</i><br />
<i>love her like star dust</i><br />
<i>rare and everywhere</i><br />
<i>love her when she's not being fair</i><br />
<i>love her with blood, gut and brain</i><br />
<i>and then start the song over again</i><br />
<br />
I have an idea for a new series. The idea is based on men always having a hidden agenda. I'm a man and have a hidden agenda written on a post-it note that I carry around. This is step 1. Peace out.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15967775741433533880noreply@blogger.com0