Monday, July 23, 2012

Arrows

I shot an arrow last night into the dark
and woke up this morning to find out I broke a heart

Watched the finale of Bachelorette today.  It's a show about how 1 girl breaks the hearts of 24 guys so that she can say yes to 1 of them.  That's crazy.  Peace out.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Adjusted

losing my voice
shouting to the heavens
why me?
why this?
opening and closing doors
not letting me decide for myself
taking away the kiss
the ms.
my only heart's wish

Watched Adjustment Bureau again tonight.  Don't worry... only my second time... today... j/k... second time ever.  I like movies where a couple meets, dates, falls apart for some reason and then gets back together at the end.  If only there were more movies like that around.  I don't get why hollywood doesn't get it and just makes these kind of movies.  I'm sure people would like them.

I think it's interesting to think about how maybe it's not your fault that you don't end up with Susan Glenn (Axe commercial reference).  Maybe it was due to some dudes in hats, opening and closing doors and controlling your life.  Or maybe Susan Glenn chose the wrong guy.  I like that term - Wrong Guy.  It's not very acceptable.  People don't want to think that they can marry the wrong person after putting so much thought into it.  I dunno and don't presently have to worry about that.  Peace out.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Rain

Walking in the rain
Slower than normal in order to raise my coolness level
Hair soaked to the brain
Unwilling to allow myself to settle
I would run if I had some motivation
An audience that was waiting
I would hurry if I could shake the sensation
the feeling that it's impossible for us to be dating

Walked in the rain today for the first time in a while. Not as romantic a situation as I would have hoped. It wasn't like I was taking a walk in Paris in the rain. And it wasn't like you were waiting for me. Peace out.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Holding Fast

Holding fast
In grid
Waiting for movement
Red light strands from tail lights in long exposure photos
I stand still as the world revolves around me
I shift into neutral and wait for the push

I think this piece is extremely clever. Hahaha. Hopefully when years have come and gone, it won't be so clever that I forget what in the world this thing is about.

Living the dream for one more day. Peace out.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Settle

I was told I needed to meet you
To see you with my own eyes
I was told I needed to greet you
and put aside all the lies

The lies I tell myself concerning what I want
I lose my nerves and lose my mettle
and my fingers slip and I lose all desire to settle
It's better to be red than dead

I don't remember if I've discussed my settling theory on this blog.  If not, I won't do it now.  It's a better fit for my other blog anyways.

Sometimes you accept thing because you're settling... and then there are the things that you dream about... And when people plant the idea that maybe you have a chance of attaining the dream, it keeps you up at night... and then you get angry at them for planting the hope in your heart because things look different in the light of a new day. I know no one knows what I'm talking about but I do.  Maybe I'll allow myself to dream for one more day.  Peace out.

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Song

Get the lighting right 
and set the mood
Characters standing on their marks
waiting for their cues
Director of photography
framing the scene and filtering hues
It won't be long
I love this scene for the song

I love how some scenes are a thousand times better because of the song that is chosen to underpin it... whether there are lyrics or not.  Yesterday I wrote about favourite scenes.  I've always said that I felt like the Before Sunrise and Before Sunset movies are all just build up for the 5 minute taxi scene in the second movie.  I love that scene.

In the same way, I feel that some movies are worth watching just to hear a song in the movie... and sure, you can go and find it online and listen to it, but I like to watch the whole movie up to the scene with the song.  It's so much more wonderful in context.  It's that feeling of discovering something beautiful.  It's exciting and fun to try to learn it on guitar so that you can recreate the scene all over again.  Peace out.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Favourite Scenes

What are your favourite scenes?
What do they tell you about yourself?
The movies you watch time and again
The lines you play in our heads on repeat?

Who are we when we sleep?
When our inhibitions fall away?
How many nights do you regret that you took the leap?
and will you still be here when the night becomes day?

I think it's interesting when people talk about their favourite things. Growing up, I never really thought that I had favourite things. And whenever I was asked, "what's your favourite colour?" or "what's your favourite food?", I would just make up something. I think I still feel that way although now I have some canned answers so that my made up answers are at least consistent. I won't give any examples... firstly because I don't want people to think that what they think is my favourite movie may not be or that my favourite food is a lie. And secondly I don't want anybody hacking into my online accounts by knowing the answers to my secret questions.

I'm thinking about these things because even though I don't really have a clear favourite movie, I know that there are scenes in movies that I like that are my favourite scenes in those movies. And then I started thinking about my favourite scenes... and then I started watching clips on youtube. I'm chasing rabbits down rabbit holes. Peace out.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Choices

You chose this
You decided that our lives would be a mess
We stand face to face
You in grey and me in a white dress
I love you more
and you love me less
We danced this night
and failed the test

I just watched The Romantics on netflix. Seeing Katie Holmes again brings me back 10 years to the days when I would watch Dawsons Creek and think that the show runners were from the future and knew what was going to happen in my life a few weeks in advance. Perhaps a lot of people felt that way. Perhaps seeing Katie again backed by the sounds of Armistice just puts me in the mood to play guitar at inappropriate hours... forcing me to find quieter activities like writing into the abyss. Peace out.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

No Words

Would you love me if I had no words?
the inability to verbalize things you deserved
Could you love me if I couldn't say
things to make you better when you weren't ok?

Could I sway you with my posture
the subtleties in how I hold my shoulders?
Could I win your heart with my actions
and convince you to stay as we both grow older?

I watched Love Actually yesterday.  It was a bit too optimistic for my liking... too many happy endings.  There was one relationship that caught my attention.  The guy spoke english and the girl was portuguese and they spent a lot of time together but didn't understand each other when they spoke... and some how they fell in love.

I'm always a bit confused by relationships where they don't share the same native tongue.  I think as people, we really long to be understood... to feel this sense of one-ness... and I don't really understand how that works when communication is such a potential area for mishaps.  What if you choose the wrong word?  Or unintentionally put your foot in your mouth by choosing the wrong cultural-based saying?

Or maybe words are entirely over rated.  Maybe tone and body language is king.  Maybe you can fall in love with no words.  I dunno.  Peace out.

I Hate You

I love you but I hate you
Is there really a difference?
Are they not really just the same thing
with hating being one degree easier?
A task well suited for lesser men

I think this is an interesting idea and a slippery slope.  The idea that love and hate are so closely related and that one could easily cross this very narrow line many times a day - between love and hate.  It's so easy and comes so natural.  It's very scary indeed.  Peace out.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Headphones

The sound of the rain bleeds through my headphones
drowning my mind
and soaking my thoughts
It washes my memories of you that I've kept high on a shelf
safe from the high waters
I think of all the "should've"s and the "oughta"s

Mistakes we made lying to ourselves
and living life in the short term

Watched Midnight in Paris last night and all it did was make me want to watch Before Sunrise so I watched that tonight. I love that movie. It's funny because watching Before Sunrise is all really just a build up for watching Before Sunset and that scene in the taxi. I love that scene. I love it and I hate it.

It's storming here in Calgary. It doesn't usually do that here. It's not like Winnipeg with the summer lightning storms. I'm feeling nostalgic. Perhaps I should open up a nostalgia store and sell misery... or is that a song? Peace out.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Good Enough

I can't wonder but to think that I'm not good enough
that I don't have the stuff
Not an ounce of me even doubts
that I'm someone you could live without

I can't help but to think that one day I'll be proven right
maybe not today and maybe not even tonight
but someday in your life
you'll regret being my wife

I can write stuff like this because I'm not married... and don't have to worry about such things like not being good enough or being married to the wrong person.  I couldn't even begin to imagine what that would feel like and I wish it on everyone.  That was not a typo.  Haha.  Peace out.

Monday, March 19, 2012

smile

it's that look
your right dimple exaggerated by the lighting
like lightning 
feelings ignite in the pit of my stomach
butterflies - their wings churning
fuelling the burning in the corners of my heart
disrupting the dust that gathered in piles
my life upside down - the result of a smile

This is something stupid that I wanted to write because I jokingly said at life group today that I was in love with this girl that I've met once.  This one is for you girl.  Peace out.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Feeling

Reeling from a feeling
that we individually define
A sign
A smile or frown
we drown in the emotion
swimming in the ocean
of abstract ideas

Lately, I've been thinking about colour blindness.  Apparently 1 out of 12 males have some sort of colour blindness. I think I first learnt about colour blindness when I was a kid at Touch the Universe (a science type museum for kids).  Wouldn't it be awful to learn that you were colour blind at Touch the Universe?  That got me thinking about how we learn about colours and how we define colours.  Like, how do I know what I think is red is actually what everybody else considers red.  Sometimes I find myself disagreeing with people about if something is pink or if it's orange.  That salmon colour can be tricky sometimes.

What if we have the same confusion when it comes to feelings?  How do I know if we have a universal definition of happiness, or sad.  What if we all experience feelings differently and talk about them as if we're using a common reference point of definitions?  I start a new job tomorrow.  People have asked me if I'm excited.  I can't remember the last time I was excited about something and not more nervous at the same time.  Maybe what I call "nervous", people call "excited"?  I dunno.  It's not a complete thought.  Peace out.