Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Erasing

Erasing

Erasing the memories
from the sketch pad that was the year
with a desire to start fresh
without the mistakes of the past
glaring in my face
and yet the paper still shows the indents
from all the previous pencil strokes
that I'll never be able to escape
instead, I'm forced to work around them
I will trudge ahead to greater things
making sure to avoid the temptation to retrace old lines

I guess this is my last piece of 2008... not because I am calling it quits but because I typically do not write two pieces a day although I have in the past. I can't say how often I'll be writing in the new year since it was one of my goals to write a tonne in 2008. Hopefully I will continue to write fairly often because I do enjoy it and I know that sometimes if I don't write out my idea, it might become lost forever. I want to try my hand at song writing a little this year. That was my goal when I started writing in the first place. All the best in 2009. Peace out.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Dinner

Dinner

Holiday dinner with friends
sitting around a round table
waiting for the last chair to be filled
but it never does
because she made other plans

Lolz. Sometimes it's so frustrating to get a big group together for dinner... inevitably someone will not be available. Peace out.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Colour Me

Colour Me

Colour me with cool shades
of blue and green
choose the blues of the ocean depths
to give me life
or colour me with warm tones
yellows, oranges and reds
create a warmth in me that radiates outwards
like a fire that can't be contained
anything
I'm tired of being gray

Hmm... been looking at some really amazing are pieces on deviantart.com. Some of those guys are sick at colouring. Just amazing. Peace out.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Garden

The Garden

The late year snow
covers the dormant garden
Tomatoes frozen on the stalk
the winter came without warning
Half of the year, you sleep
and we become strangers
You're just another patch of snow
I feel no sorrow
because I trust in one thing
We'll be friends again in the spring

Hmm... I don't garden but I know of gardening. Lol. I started out writing about "strange pride", but the piece was going nowhere and I was tired of sitting here staring at the computer screen. I have some weird things that I'm proud of. For instance, tonight, March of the Penguins was on TV. I've never seen a single second of the movie. I have nothing against it but I'm just proud that I've never seen something that the whole world seems to be in love with. Strange Pride. There's a popular dating book in christian circles that I'm proud I've never physically touched... much less read. Strange Pride. Peace out.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Whispers

Whispers

the winter whispers
through the boughs of the spruce tree
that stands gigantically on my front yard
i strain to hear what it's saying
trying to drown out the sound of cars driving by
and the christmas music that marks the season
and the noise of life
my neck grows sore from all the straining
and still, I have no idea what it's saying

I'm just going through the motions now trying to get these poems out. Wake me up when beauty is scheduled to come along again. Peace out.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Accident

Accident

The soft light of dawn bleeds through the blinds
It's a new day according to scientists
marked by the rising sun
As for me, I've been living in yesterday
refusing to let the sun set on us
I wait for the mail
but I knew none would come
Dreaming that you would finally get around to replying
to the letter I never sent
It was an accident
that I chose to love you

I really had a hard time writing today. I was too pleased with myself with yesterday's piece. I've been wanting to create something beautiful for so long now and I feel like I finally might have done that with that piece. I remember as a child, when I would draw something that I really liked, I would leave it by my bed so that whenever I get the urge, I could wake up in the middle of the night, turn on the light and look at it for a few seconds before going to bed again.

I think as people who write things, draw things, sing things, we just want to create something beautiful. I love how everyone loves beauty even though we may have varying ideas of what beauty is. We are all able to appreciate beauty and want to be a part of something beautiful. Like the line in Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, "I wish I was beautiful". That was one of the first songs I learned to play on guitar and I loved that line. It's just such a simple desire. The desire to be beautiful, to be loved by someone you find beautiful and to be a part of something beautiful.

I had to write something today knowing that it wouldn't be beautiful. I expect beauty to come once on a blue moon for me. I just need the practice in writing. Just like a person learning to draw, it's the repetition that I need in order to find my voice or to find my style. On a totally different note, when did people start saying "on accident"? I've always said "by accident". Peace out.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Waking Up

Waking Up

Waking up from strange dreams
of which you were a resident
How long has it been since I've seen you?
or heard the melody that is our soundtrack?
the repetitive bass line and the dissidence of the midtones
My hope is running on empty
as we are separated by land and water
and you've become a unique figment of my imaginality
half real and the other half invented
like a poem - a machine of words
with purpose, driving the turbulent waters of my sleep
So that I get no rest
with each crashing wave, you wear me down
reshaping me more to your liking
The seawall crumbles under the pressure
as the bass line continues with notes that vibrate the bones
I whimper audibly half awake
and I buckle down in fetal position waiting for this storm to break

Nice. I really like this piece. It reminds me a bit more of my earlier work (with my liberty to invent words). I did have some strange dreams last night. It's funny how sometimes your whole day can be affected by the dreams you had the night before... or sometimes when you find yourself half awake and still trapped in a dream, that feeling kinda lingers with you after you wake up. And yet the actual details of the dream remain fleeting, like a melody that you can't seem to remember. The notes, just beyond your grasps. Your toes, tapping out a rhythm but the melody is missing.

Tonight, as I was preparing to write, I found myself trapped in a Youtube link clicking session where one video would lead me to the next. And with each video, a different emotion is unleashed. Jealousy - wishing that I could play guitar just as well. Pride - thinking that I could cover that song so much better. Love - as I fall for a female singer. Why is it so easy to fall for a musician? I dunno. It must have something to do with the magical relationship that music has with the soul. As every guy in a rock n roll band can tell you... music is the key to getting the girl.

Oh, I've also been listening to these podcasts of great lectures or the art of the lecture... something like that. That's where I got the "poetry is a word machine" bit. I believe that was how William Carlos Williams defined poetry. I dunno. I wasn't listening that intently as the podcast was just my background noise at the time. Anyways, sorry for being long winded today and having nothing to do with Christmas. Peace out.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Last Year's Season

Last Year's Season

I'm still living in last year's season
with my head looking over my shoulder
wondering if I'll ever come back into style
or if the good guy actually never wins
I do not object to spoilers
news of my future is definitely welcome
My hugs and kisses for you may seem rationed
Forgive me for being old fashioned

It's technically Christmas but I didn't get a chance to write earlier today so I will consider this my Dec. 24th piece and hopefully I can write again "tomorrow". I was reading Eclipse today and watched Get Smart tonight and the term "old fashioned" was in both. I know it's a relatively common saying but it's funny how when you get a term in your head and you're mulling it over, that you realize it may be used more commonly than you think. (awkward sentence much?) Or for instance, I never heard of Trotsky until a few days ago and then I've heard mention of him twice since then. Weird. Anyways... Like clothes, old fashioned guys are no longer in season I'm afraid... time to move to a farm I guess. Peace out.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Prepositions

Prepositions

I remember that sunny day
when you were in front of me
asking if I had a proposition for you
I must have misheard you because I replied with:

You're in my head again
and you're on my mind
It's like I'm caught between reality and a dream
I just want to be near you
and drive my friends crazy with stories about you

but now those days are in the past
and you're now across the world
working toward your dream
and I'm left behind and on the outside
I wish I could turn my feelings off
and you are underwhelmed by my heartache
you refuse to let your own heart break

Wanted to try something different today but I don't think it worked out... too bad. I'm too lazy to write something else. You win some and you lose some. I'll win tomorrow. Peace out.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Red Winter

Red Winter

It's the red winter
of kisses under the mistletoe
with lipstick so crimson
The bets have been made
and we're both all in

It's the red winter
a season for change
what always was will never be the same
The hearts once divided
will be made whole once again

It's the red winter
and my blood is racing
through my body with every sensation
every feeling as in slow motion
your gentle touch
and your breath on the back of my neck

I wish even a single word of that was true. Oh well. I'm gonna try to learn how to use my Wacom tablet that has been collecting dust. Peace out.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Skin

Skin

You catch a glimpse of her in the corner of your eye
as she floats by your seat
a phantom that you haven't spoken to in seven score and ten days
She doesn't notice you
what else is new
You feel uncomfortable in your own skin
as if you were never meant to be in that body
and that you were never meant to live on this planet
during this time
in the age of information
You look around expecting to see everyone looking at you
but you're surprised to find
that no one even knows you're there
To everyone else, you're the phantom

Wow, not sure what that was about. It started as one thing and evolved as I wrote it. I think I've been reading too many books lately. Now when I write, I have no idea what literary work I'm pulling from... or maybe I'm pulling from Smallville again. I dunno. Peace out.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Clean Slate

Clean Slate

The city sleeps under a blanket of snow
a clean slate
With every centimeter
more of the past gets covered up
All the paths that were taken are forgotten
and new ones must be formed
The airport sleeps and the roads are empty
as more and more snow falls
In a few days, the city will awaken
and it will be reinvented
re-envisioned by its people
like the first steps into newly fallen snow

It seems to be snowing everywhere in North America at the moment... New Orleans, Vegas, the Mid West, the Canadian prairies. There's something beautiful about a field with no tracks through it. As if it was newly made and never used. There's also something beautiful about a freshly shoveled driveway without a single flake of snow on it as it's evidence of hard work and attention to detail. There's also something beautiful about a well-timed, sincere apology that allows for a relationship to continue on a clean slate. Peace out.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Alternative Post Office

Alternative Post Office

This is the alternative post office
come have a tour
and then we'll let you explore
Letters written but never sent come here
they were never sent perhaps due to fear
They come here and are organized
as their authors sit at home agonizing
over the words that they poured all of their feeling
saying they're sorry or intimate feelings revealing
It's the holiday season and I'm sure you can see
that this place is especially busy

Unfortunately that was a weak piece but I really like the concept so again, I might do another poem with a similar concept. I was thinking today about all the letters that people write but never send... and then I started imagining that there are more letters unsent then sent. And then I started imagining that there was a post office for all those letters. The letters are never sent so they are just kept there and organized into nice little bins... bins that organize them into chronological order, or maybe by categories: apologies; you don't know who I am, but I love you; It's not you, it's me; why can't you see I'm hurting; I wish you were there for me when I was younger; and etc. I'm sure everyone has a mental drawer for all the letters that they have composed but never sent... maybe I can rhyme "sent" with "went" in my next piece with this concept. Peace out.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Bottle, the Girl, and the Wardrobe

The Bottle, the Girl, and the Wardrobe

The bottle was never gifted
no matter how hard I wished it
My lips were primed with chapstick
although the girl I never kissed
I need a magical wardrobe
to escape to a world that suits me better

I've been reading a lot lately and a good thing about reading is you can explore other worlds, parallel universes, other times. The good thing about reading fast is that you can do it all the more quickly and it's even more immersing an experience because you don't get bogged down. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever make it as a farmer or the army. I dunno. Peace out.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Sole

Sole

A lonely stranger wanders the town
on a raining summer evening
headphones in his ears
the bass line like his heart beating
his footfalls are soft
as he drags himself across town
He remembers the situation
and how he acted like a clown
He's been walking for so long
and now his gait seems to be wrong
he takes off his sandals
and examines them closely
the sole on his left sandal is worn way down
He suspects it's due to his heavy heart
and smiles
his discovery -- a minor victory

I kinda rushed this one because I have a bus to catch in a few minutes. I came up with the concept last night while playing I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie on guitar because I was looking for new songs to cover. I thought, "wouldn't it be great to write something about a dude that has been walking for so long that the sole on his left shoe was all worn out because of his heavy heart?" And that's what I tried to write. I may recycle the concept in a later date because I don't think the treatment was all that great today. Peace out.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Another Day in December

Another Day in December

The furnace roaring
as the temperature drops
Frost on windows form

Yup, I wanted something weak for #150. I have to stay true to my blog title. Have a good one. Not enjoying The Stone Diaries btw. Peace out.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Robotic

Robotic

In this world that is so chaotic
I find comfort in you
and how your love for me is so robotic
if-then-else
put your feelings on a shelf
to get back to me when it's on the schedule

I carefully time my arrival
so I don't leave you waiting
or nervously anticipating
The events of the evening
bullet point by bullet point
a touch here
a sigh there
You're a robot and if you knew it
it would spoil it
It would spoil everything

Hmmm... I don't really know what that was about but it was partially inspired by Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. I read it today and I didn't realize that there was 20 pages at the end of the novel that were "notes". I usually like to know how long a book is in pages so that I can tell when I'm approaching the end. Well, those 20 pages really caught me off guard. I was like, "oh... so that's how it ends?". *sigh. Onto The Stone Diaries.

I haven't posted in a few days. I've been having some crazy writer's block. I've tried to write but I haven't been able to come up with anything good/beautiful/meaningful. After my last post, I was wondering how many poems I've written for this blog and I realized that I had written 148 and today is my 149th poetry entry. That added to my writer's block as I wanted to reach 150 as a mini-anniversary. Well, maybe I'll get on that tomorrow. Who knows. Peace out.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Visitor

Visitor

In my life
she was just a visitor
She came to see me
and I loved seeing her
We only had a few dates
but she was my temporary soulmate

Haha. I'm not sure where I got the idea about a "temporary soulmate". I just know that I made a mental note of it a few days ago and I wanted to write it down in poem form so I don't forget the concept. I don't really believe that there are temporary soulmates but I think it's very common for people to jump from strangers to soulmates only to find out later that they were wrong.

A friend of mine was reading The Choice by Sparks and I decided to read it too. I have a sickness that makes me need to read everything/anything that I know someone else is reading. I usually find myself trying to memorize book titles/authors of books I see people reading on the bus because I want to read the book on a later date. I think you can tell a lot about a person by what book they are reading... of course that doesn't work with me necessarily because usually I'm reading books of people that I'm trying to read. Haha. Peace out.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Her Beauty

Her Beauty

It's not in her hazel eyes
or the playfulness of her smile
Her beauty is in her hardness
stoic and unfeeling
never needing to be caressed
unwilling to shed a tear
she scoffs at your fears
and doesn't feel your pain
She walks in the rain
and doesn't complain

I'm not sure what that was about. I was just interested in writing something about being hard and how it can be beautiful. I was doing some remembering earlier this week and I was thinking about how when I was younger, I had a huge list of girls that I would marry at a drop of a hat. That lists has grown substantially shorter due to people/myself changing or the girl getting married... but I still have a nice short list -- a very short list but it exists. I wonder if the existence of the list means that I'm still hopeful. I dunno. Peace out.

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Fight

The Fight

The fight would have been so much easier
if we could have used our fists
and knocked each other out
The fight would have been more civil
if we could have used words
instead of using silence as a weapon
The fight would have been unnecessary
if we were honest from the start
I wish you all the best with Mark

Hahahaha. I'm being super lazy today but I really like this one. I'm basing it on my Monday night tv CBS comedy shows: Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I took the Mark line from BBT and the fight theme from HIMYM. I like it.

I was looking at the Ocean today and it feels kinda weird centered and italicized. It feels like I'm forced to look at it slanted. I dunno. We'll see if it grows on me. I just saw a video on YouTube showing a different chin up variation. I'm gonna go try it now. Peace out.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Ocean

The Ocean

Cold and wet
salty foam bubbling between my toes
rushing up past my knees
as I wade into the ocean
in search of treasure
There's nothing better for the weary
at least for the weary that don't care
I'm not looking for relieve
because it's my belief
that my destiny is just another few feet out
beyond the surf


Hmm.. I think that was a bit like my Hope poem that I wrote after reading Candide by Voltaire. Fun stuff. Trying to see what things would be like if I started centering some of my pieces. I think it gives it a different feel. I'll see what I do in the future or if I want to go back and center some other pieces.

Earlier this week, if you searched "weak poems" on google, this blog would be the first hit. I was kinda giddy at that but now I've dropped to no.2. I wonder why people search "weak poems". It happens way more often then I would have thought. Peace out.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Lame

Lame

They say
that you can only wake
once from a dream
well, I'm awake
and the nightmare continues
vampires and werewolves
place bids for my love
without shame
boy was book two super lame

Hahaha, well that was my opinion of book 2 from the Twilight series. I'm glad I'm a fast reader cause otherwise I would be complaining about how much a waste of time it was... instead, I'll only complain that it was such a waste of paper. I didn't think Meyer could recreate book 1 but she did... almost plot point for plot point. I need to get me a book deal. Peace out.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Fat of the Land

Fat of the Land

Some people would say that I wasn't bright
enough to dream about a better time
of rabbits and alfalfa
cows or a goat
Some day we will buy our plot
that stretches out across the horizon
and we'll live off the fat of the land
As long as I keep my mouth shut
and my hands out of trouble
Life is easier when you got somebody
that you can look after and
that'll look after you


I read Of Mice and Men today. I remember reading it for school. I must be a much faster reader than I was back then cause I just breezed through it. I wonder what my metaphorical rabbits would be. That's probably dumb to say because most people would probably liken me to George in that story, but boy would I rather be Lennie. I'd be big and strong and I would think about rabbits all day long. A friend of mine is studying for the GRE and she has to work out analogies. I wonder...

Lennie:rabbits :: Joe:____

At the moment, I'm not sure. Peace out.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Run

The Run

I still recall the run
all those years back in time
when I wasn't a runner
I was just a dreamer
or more correctly described as a reader
as I sat there in the living room
reading about the end of the world
You were in the kitchen with my sister
recalling your night
with him
I take flight and run out of the house
preemptively
before I could hear anymore
to save my memory
and preserve my dreams

Hmm... Ok. Well, that's done now. Lately, I've gone on many runs and I can't really differentiate between them. I remember this run very clearly. I wasn't really a runner back then. I might go out for 4 runs the entire summer and usually nothing further than a mile. I remember hearing the initial parts of the conversation, running downstairs and changing and then leaving the house in a flash. It was like 5 minutes before lunch. It was totally an unreasonable time to go for a run but I knew I wouldn't be able to unhear anything I might hear. I wish I was running these days. Maybe I'll run tomorrow. Peace out.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Return

The Return

It was the day we've all been waiting for
with lips clamped in anticipation
and off in the distance, the brush is
rustling... signaling your return
You've been gone for many nights
and the new snow has long covered your tracks
the woods seem reborn and untouched by man
as if the world was young again and filled
with the spirits of the trees and rivers
The days of feasting under the harvest moon
and dancing with fawns

I have no idea what that was about but I thought I'd just start writing and see where it took me. I got my new video up. I wish I was 3.6% prettier. That is all. Peace out.